Kramer Is A Coffee Table Thief

Something is happening that is beyond belief.
Cosmo Kramer has become a coffee table thief.
If he comes to your house, he'll steal your coffee table when your head is turned.
If you love your coffee table, you'd better be concerned.
Because his coffee table book wasn't published, he steals coffee tables to get revenge.
He deserved to be burned when he lit a cigar on a stove and his wacky hair was singed.
If you are foolish enough to invite him into your house, you will surely be robbed.
How can Kramer afford an apartment in New York City, he doesn't even have a job.

(This poem was inspired by the Seinfeld TV show.)