Crazy Sumcrax

MIKE …

Comes out the bathroom–
“Dad you got your jocks wrong way round and inside out.
“Brilliant my boy! How did you know?
“The skid marks are in front.”

“Sorry dad I've bad news dad I'm pregnant dad!
“Calm down my girl, are you quite sure it is yóúr child?”
 
At the Zoo with Kallie, watching a lion licking its balls
Kallie “Hell I wish I could do that!
Mike “No dude! nóóóit my ou! He'll bite you!”
 
Kallie and the Elephant–
“Daddy what is that?
“That is the elephant's trunk.
“No daddy. At the other end.
“Oh behind? It's his tail.
“No daddy there there!
“But why do you ask?”
“Because mommy said it's nothing!
“Your mother is spoilt my boy.”
 
“Mr Van der Merwe your car is smoking!
“It's Ok it's old enough.”
 
Posh Seaside Hotel. Andy and Flo checking out–
“Tell me how much you have and we can have
a good chuckle while we're waiting for the police!”
 
Andy the Cap in Bulldog's to the Rhino's wife–
“Doesn't it bother you your boyfriend's on steroids?”
Picked up high by the shirt by the enraged body-builder
“You're getting a bit thin on top dude.”
 
Andy stumbled out from Madame Butterfly's. Pastor Salter walking past–
“I am terribly sad and shocked to see you leave a place like this!”
In an intoxicated but satisfied piece of mind grinned
“I'm so sorry Pastor– I'll go straight back!”