The Wasted Wish

 

‘Go and shut up the chickens for the night, Mai, and when you get back your tea will be ready.’

 

Mai didn’t like shutting up the chickens by herself although it wasn’t quite dark, more like twilight but the garden was long and narrow with vast, dense hedging down either side, casting black shadows on the lawn. Clutching her little torch, she slipped on a cardigan, shut the back door behind her and walked very quickly on the damp grass, her feet occasionally landing on a stepping stone.

 

The chickens had already put themselves to bed, she could hear them chattering in hushed voices, relaying stories of their day, perhaps having a little quabble. Mai loved those chickens and all she had to do was close up the coup to protect them, so that no foxes could enter and do the gruesome things that foxes do to chickens. 

 

The moon was just rising above the roof of her house, for a few seconds its cold beauty distracted her but she was keen to get away from the darkness and back into the warmth of her kitchen and whatever it was her dad was cooking. But something else caught her attention, a sort of panicked fluttering on the chicken wire around the perimeter of the coup. She thought of just ignoring it and running back but it continued, frenzied and unabating and she thought she heard a tiny voice, screaming in frustration.

 

Stepping closer, she shone her torch on the fluttering thing and a pair of tiny thin arms went up, covering a tiny little face, the whole creature measuring just a few inches. An adult would never have seen it or heard the high pitch of its voice. Mai stepped closer and saw that it was a winged spirit, a creature from another realm, sometimes known as a fairy.

 

‘Let me help you,’ she said calmly. 

 

The fairy huffed and puffed while Mai nimbly unhooked the creature’s delicate, lacy wings from the sharp point of the metal wire. She watched it hover in the moonlit air for a few seconds, dusting itself down, then it paused and in the smallest voice said, ‘Thank you. I must leave quickly but before I do, may I grant you one wish for helping a fairy?’

 

‘A wish!’ Mai said, clutching her cold hands to her chest. 

 

‘It’s a choice of three; you can wish to become a witch with magical powers, you can wish to be beautiful or you can wish to be brave,’ the fairy said, fluttering faster now so that it was simply a blur of light.

 

‘Oh,’ Mai inhaled sharply. She thought quickly about all the stories she’d been read to by her parents, every night since she was very small. The witch was always portrayed as wicked, ugly and feared, the beautiful girl always got lucky, she got to marry the prince and live happily ever after. And then there was the brave, she could only think of Goldilocks who bravely entered into the bear’s house but she was a burglar and a criminal trespasser. Gretal from Hansel and Gretal was brave but she pushed an old woman into a hot oven and murdered her. 

 

 

The chickens were quietly mumble-clucking, there was a smell of roast potatoes wafting down the garden from the kitchen and Mai felt the full pressure of her decision but it seemed like a no-brainer. ‘I wish to be beautiful,’ she blurted out.

 

And with that the winged creature covered the girl in a shimmering cloud and by the time it had cleared, the tiny fairy had vanished from sight. Mai never saw a fairy again although she thought of it often, and she never told a soul, she had the sense to realise that nobody would believe her.

 

By the time Mai was a teenager, she was the most beautiful girl in school but she quickly became aware that it came with many disadvantages. Boys would call her names and spread rumours about her after she rejected their advances, teachers didn’t take her seriously and girl’s would leave her out of parties and engagements. Her parents became over-protective of her and didn’t like her to leave their side or do anything by herself.

 

She continued her education, struggling through life, exhausted by the shallow attention she received while she simply wanted to complete her studies in peace. It seemed to her that everyone around her was waiting for her to mess up or do something unacceptable, that she existed in a lonely bubble with those around her poised to pop it in some way. They didn’t seem interested in anything she had to say. It was almost as if her beauty filled up all the space people had available for her and if she attempted to add anything beyond it, they simply couldn’t handle it and shut her down.

 

By the time she reached her twenties, she had met a partner, a handsome man called Richard who was, on paper at least, perfect in every way. Family connections paved the way for a rewarding career for Richard, he was wealthy, confident and had his sights on settling down with Mai. There was a small part of her which wanted to resist his proposal and wait but her family thought he was a gentleman and the few female connections she had, told her that she’d be mad not to snap him up. The only snag was Richard’s mother who despised Mai from the moment she set eyes on her son’s girlfriend’s beautiful face.

 

They had a fairytale wedding and moved into a large and comfortable house. Mai didn’t have to work, in fact Richard didn’t want her to. A son soon arrived, healthy and full of life. She doted on him and spent her days making everything perfect for her family but Richard was away much of the time on business trips and the loneliness she had experienced as a teenager returned to haunt her. It sounded thoroughly bizarre but it seemed to Mai that loneliness was the friend who never left her side for long.

 

She tried to speak to her parents about how she was feeling but they protested that she didn’t know how lucky she was and that she’d always been a bit of a princess and how they had had it so much harder. This was partly true of course. Outwardly Mai had led a charmed life, free of the financial hardships her parents had overcome. Inwardly though, she was deeply unhappy but she knew that if she even attempted to explain her feelings, she would be shut down and made to look foolish, spoiled and ungrateful and this made her feel so powerless.

 

 

Richard had many friends at work and was highly respected, not only by his colleagues but by neighbours and extended family who would always ask him about his job, ignoring Mai completely as she stood aside, looking beautiful and watching their son.

 

The years rolled by and one day she looked in the mirror and saw wrinkles on her face and grey hair around her temples, her stomach had started to sag. She thought about the little fairy creature and how her wish hadn’t come with a use by date or a disclaimer in regard to ageing.

 

Richard was spending even less time at home since he had climbed the ranks to board of directors. He worked away, staying at plush hotels and socialising with business associates. Mai did the school run and shopped for things which only made her feel hollow. The other mums at the school gates had always been suspicious of Mai because of her beauty, expensive cars and jewellery so she'd been unable to form any close bonds with them. 

 

By the time her son had reached his twelfth birthday, Richard and his parents closed ranks in making the decision to send him away to boarding school so that he could get the best education and toughen up in preparation for becoming a man. Richard’s mother enjoyed making regular snippy comments to Mai which individually sounded like nothing at all but over time they slowly chipped away at her confidence.

 

She wanted to be brave and break out of the comfortable trap she was in, she wanted to magic away her mother in law and spirit herself away to some other land where she could make friends and go to work and lead a fulfilling life but she was powerless. Mai was alone and all she had was her fading beauty and the wealth which had come from her unhappy marriage.

 

It was during her late forties while her son was away at university that Mai discovered that Richard was having a relationship with another woman, somebody younger from his work. The news didn’t shock her although she was initially very upset by his betrayal. She cut her losses, signed the divorce papers and moved into a small house with a long narrow garden. Not needing to work, she signed up for volunteering in the local community and she did something which she’d always wanted to do, she got herself some chickens.

 

Every evening at dusk she went down the garden to shut up the coup and put her little winged creatures to bed. She placed a plastic chair just next to he coup so that she could listen to their quiet chatter and watch the moon.

 

 

By this time her parents were elderley but she’d forgiven them for their ignorance and the fairy tales they’d drilled into her as an impressionable young child. And with her childhood wish now expired, she worked on the wishes she hadn’t chosen; being a witch, albeit a white witch who most definitely believed in magic, especially after once seeing a fairy. Also being brave. The two went hand in hand and with beauty and marriage firmly in the past, Mai had all the space and energy to fulfil her own wishes and she never had to see her mother in law again.