Regional tourism, 2022

In that slow time between Christmas and New Year, I drive from the East Coast to Columbus, Ohio, to spend several days at ethnic restaurants having heart-to-hearts with friends. I call it “doing my rounds.” I prioritize 5-7 of them. Over several days there are always a few surprises - friends who don’t want to talk to me or running into a friend I have not seen for a decade with whom I spend an hour (or two, or five). I try to cram three such multi-hour hangouts in a day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner), filling my soul oh-so-much. 

The contrast with New England culture is dramatic. This year I texted the phrase “midwesterners are so nice” at least 10 times to my New England friends who might believe that the Midwest is banal. It is notoriously difficult to form new relationships in New England with a population that prides itself on insidersism, with people who derive a sense of superiority from turning down invitations toward intimacy.

I am an intense person. My intensity is wrapped in kindness. In moments of relaxed connection, I launch into dense questions. My relentless curiosity disorients Midwesterners. I had to move to New England to feel the approval to lean into this dry warmth.

This is a typical thesis/ antithesis/ synthesis triptych. The thesis is midwestern warmth. Antithesis is New England intellectualism. I am finding a synthesis in winter 2022.