THE LYING GAME

Some receipts fell out of your jacket,
For underwear you'd not given me.
I asked where it was. You smirked, "Don't know.
It is lost, who knows where it could be?"

You returned from 'working late' again,
Smelling of a scent you never use.
I said, "You smell like a right girl's blouse!"
You panicked. "I'll wear which scent I'll choose."

Your phone rang when you were not around,
So I thought I'd answer it for you.
A voice muttered, "Who the heck is that?"
I said, "I could ask that question too."

"I thought he wasn't married," she said.
"He's not," I said, "He has a girlfriend."
"That'll be me then!" she responded.
"No," I said, "She's on this other end."

She went quiet. "Please say you're joking."
"I'm not," I said, "He's played us the same."
She sounded upset, "What an asshole!
What about his plane ticket to Spain?"

I laughed, "He was going off to Spain?!"
She sniffed, "It was a surprise from me.
I was going to take him away,
But of course now that isn't to be."

"So when is the flight due?" I asked her.
She sighed sadly, "It was for tonight.
I can't find someone else to go with,
Because now the time is very tight."

"Would you mind if I joined you?" I said.
She laughed, "What?! You'd want to go with me?"
"Well, why the hell not?" I laughed with her.
"Yeah," she said, "And your holiday's free!"

So we made arrangements for meeting,
And I hurriedly started to pack.
I moved my other stuff somewhere else;
But that can wait until I get back.

We had a good chat on the plane here,
And the apartment is glorious.
But you'd be daft for imagining,
That we are wishing you here with us.

We thought we might send you a postcard,
Stating your exes are pleased to bits,
Having a fantastic holiday.
But we've learnt how much you like secrets.

2 September 2005