X-PLAIN WHY I FALL FOR SUCH WEIRDOES?

Why do I fall for such weirdoes?
I've asked around but no-one knows.
Some chaps may seem as nice as pie,
But just lunatics catch my eye.

Why do I go for such nutters?
The ones who get right on your nerves;
They don't give a monkey's and then,
You feel nearly as mad as them.

Why am I interested in freaks?
The types you don't hear from for weeks.
Some blokes are caring and lovely,
But just direct strange ones at me.

It hurts the heart and pains the guts.
I know most guys will have two nuts,
But I take it a step too far;
I only go for men who are.

February 2006