Quite
By span
Thu, 15 Sep 2011
- 1109 reads
2 comments
I will write you no poems to tell you how alarming
familiarity is. No ways to tell
about knee plate earthquakes,
how your ego grew tanin roses.
how I thought prick, in the shower cubicle
but lay wet under you anyway.
All mirrors are motorways
leaking old lace back onto your face,
the temporary towel hangs on the temporary hook
the temporary metaphor of this is disgusting.
Words like death, have no place in poems.
Writing is eating fist fulls of broiled chicken in lamplight in autumn
watching avenues decease. It is possible to avoid whole themes,
keep the tone even, like icing a cake,
get nearly quite to what you mean.
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Comments
Your ending line stumbled me
Your ending line stumbled me a bit. But over all this piece has very much impressed me. Your metaphors are sound, and the "idea" that whaffs through is quite good. You have a "craftsman's" eye here as opposed to the over the top artistic view which I have no complaints with. lol
Much much enjoyed :)
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awesome. Very original
awesome. Very original voice.
I felt it should be:
'Words like death have no place in poems.'
or
'Words, like death, have no place in poems.'
niggling of me - I know!!
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