Superspiritual Husband

Superspiritual Husband by Neil McCall

You say you want a superspiritual husband,
Who eats demons for his breakfast with a bowl of Cherrios
Imagines golden showers are a sign of heaven's blessing,
Well, doesn't every churchy girl just dream of one of those?

He puts the vicar right on the finer points of doctrine,
Has won over his workmates with his charm and grace and ease,
Goes down on you gently and prays for benediction,
Doesn't every spinster always long for one of these?

You say you want a superspiritual husband,
Prepared to conquer China if he hears the mission call,
His study's like a goldmine, your bedroom's like a stud farm,
And will you be the sister who's the first to have it all?

He soothes the broken-hearted with his pastoral perceptions,
Instead of watching telly he spends evenings on his knees,
He claims the power of prayer induces turbocharged erections,
And doesn't all his female flock bleat out for such as these?

You say you want a superspiritual husband,
Unerringly prophetic and interpreter of tongues,
Never reads pornography but knows the ropes by magic,
Speaks on every continent but knows where he belongs.

He leads worship and a home group, he's a cornerstone of family,
He can play "Abide With Me on keyboards and kazoo,
Such a guy would qualify as superspiritual husband,
But he'd never spend his life with such a fantasist as you!