Swimming

The first time I started to worry
about the curves of my body.
Was between the cubicles
after swimming record laps
and diving to the bottom of the pool;
submerging myself for an hour.

My new watery body scared me,
the scent of chlorine hung to my skin
and I knew that something had changed.
I don’t know whether my mother
recognised the fear in my voice
when I refused to wear anything but a swimsuit.

During one of my last swimming lessons,
before I understood that teenage girls;
have always loved to hate their own bodies,
just quietly.
I sat at the bottom of the pool,
waving like a hysterical seal at my twin sister.
Pointing at the wideness of my hips,
whilst she just blew bubbles under water
and laughed.