I Named My Kitten Korben Dallas

and now, instead of the usual morning platter
of sparrow guts and mouse cerebral matter,
he drags in red-haired girls, clothed only
in bandages, with phony naive stares
and silly names.

Furthermore, I swear
just yesterday
I saw him
glaring up a tree,
fur quiffed like Morrissey,
while, perched on a branch,
a combed-over Gary Oldman
whimpered
"help me"