iSwerve

iSwerve

“You shouldn’t leave yer back door open like that.”

“Nah, it’s OK. We’re in the middle of nowhere.”

“Exactly!”

“What does that mean, exactly?”

“Well, yer get all kinds of creatures just wandering in.”

“Creatures? This is the English countryside, there’ll be no lions, tigers, and bears (oh my) around here. Grumpy hedgehogs, maybe.”

“Oh but you don’t know that. First it’ll be a rat thinking there’ll be something to eat here, then there’ll be a weasel who’s thinking I fancy a bit of rat for me tea, but a fox sees the weasel slinking in through your back door and the fox is thinking I’ll have that weasel. It’s weasel season. And then there’s the aardvarks.”

“Aardvarks! You don’t get aardvarks round here. Maybe it’s some kind of trendy London thing, but it’s not for round here.”

Just then the phone rang:

“Yes, it is.
“Oh my god! Are they all right?
“Yes. Yes, I’ll come right away. Do you know what happened?
“Oh really.
“Quite. I’m on my way. Thank you. Bye.”

“What is it?”

“Mum and Dad. They’ve been involved in a traffic accident. They’re OK, They’ve been lucky. Some war wounds but nothing too serious.”

“That’s a relief. Come on, get what yer need and I’ll drive yer to the hospital.”

“Thank you. The funny thing is, they were swerving to avoid an aardvark.”

“Told yer. Bloody aardvarks. They’re like Ninja full stops.”