Twelve days to live

Bad reputations have left me fumbling round,
I've packed my bags before, but I've still never found
An inner conscious glow,
There are still so many things I don't know.
While sounds and visions clash blindly,
Reality continues all around sublimely,
Calling out to better things
And everyone knows the way a bird sings -
With twelve days to live,
What else is there to give?

My repetitious pondering has pulled me to the ground,
And now my ears are so worn
I can't focus on the sounds -
Of the world around me,
Or my tainted destiny.
The colours around seem faded,
And all the useless time I've wasted
On all the pointless things,
I'd give it all to hear a bird sing,
With twelve days to live,
What else is there to give?