From the Park Fountain

Cherry

By keleph

Tue, 01 Jul 2008
  • 1920 reads
9 comments
 

From the park fountain
Where the children drink,
Lapping happily
Between uncaring play
And mothers' folded frowns.
Dashing up ripples
With little toy hands;
Parachute droplets
Wink in the sunlight
Then drop to the ground.
Unknowing brown soil,
Like champagne childhood
Does not grow, but fades...
Until night comes
And the keeper,
With gentle hands
Rakes up the leaves,
Cleans the water
And sighs for home.
There to sleep through
The play-worn day.
And keep his childhood at bay.

Certificate U
Thoughts and Poems.
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by onemorething on
This is beautiful. The best I have ever read from you I think. A lovely poem. Thanks for commenting on mine - I could just repeat your comment back to you for this one. 'Parachute droplets', 'toy hands', 'sighs for home'..all great.

 

Submitted by keleph on
Wow, thanks, Doeslittle. I tried to change my style for this after reading an essay on Dylan Thomas, maybe it works for me.

keleph

Submitted by Dynamaso on
This has some really lovely lines in it. I found the last 8 a little sad. Does the 'keeper' represent those adults who forget what its like to be a child? Is he a metaphor for forgotten youth? Am I reading far too much into this?

 

Submitted by Ewan on
Very well done indeed this K, doeslittle's pick of the images are spot on... as is her assessment of this poem's place in your work. There are always at least two poems on the page Dynamaso, the one the poet has written and the one(s) the reader(s) read. That's what I like about poetry, myself. Regards Ewan

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by onemorething on
I like that idea - that there are two poems on the page.

 

Submitted by keleph on
Thanks, Dynamaso. I tried to make the last 8/9 lines different by lowering the syllable count- guess it worked! And no, you're not reading too much into it, in fact keep going further! Thanks, Ewan. Glad you liked it. In my more cynical moments I think the open-interpretation can devalue poems, but I suppose ultimately if the readers thoughts can be provoked his/hers are of the same worth as the author's.

keleph

Submitted by Ewan on
'I suppose ultimately if the readers thoughts can be provoked his/hers are of the same worth as the author's.' Yes, exactly my point.

Author Page at the 'Zon
 

Submitted by Dynamaso on
'There are always at least two poems on the page' Well said, Ewan. Keleph, it worked a treat. I hope I haven't devalued this piece with my questioning, though.

 

Submitted by keleph on
Not at all, Dynamaso. When reading a published poem there is usually a piece about the author and even the themes they tackle. On here, we sometimes need to ask questions.

keleph