BE PREPARED (I.P.)

Tommy sat on his Mummys lap:
Said :‘Tell me Mummy, what’s a map?’
‘Oh dear Thomas, don’t you know?
It shows you where you want to go
And how to get there on the road’.
‘That’s information overload –
You mean a SatNav don’t you Mother?’
Piped up James, his elder brother.

‘No dear, the routes are printed out’.
James said ‘So what’s that all about?’
Printed out? You mean on screen?’
(That’s all the boys had ever seen!)
‘No, you hold the paper in your hand!’
‘You mean you put it on a stand?’

Now Mum was losing all her calm.
Sighed, and held out each slim arm.
‘They’re about this big’ – she indicated –
All wide-eyed, the boys both waited –
‘The roads are all in different hues –
Is up to you which way you choose’.

So Thomas said : ‘How can you drive
And hold a map, and stay alive?’
James chipped in : ‘Yes he’s quite right –
And tell me, how d’you cope at night?’
Mum by now had lost her cool-
Proper stressed out with it all.

She took them both out to the car
They hadn’t driven very far
Mum realised she’d lost the way
And what did her two sons both say?

‘Where’s the ‘SatNav?’ they both said
‘At home on charge; the battery’s dead’.
Mum turned and looked them in the eye;
And said :’there’s one thing we can try -
Here’s your chance, I think perhaps
We’ll have to get there using MAPS!
She found an old map in the boot
A bit torn, but they found the route
To Grandmas: there it was, quite clear:
But there was no sign to say ‘You’re here’.

They turned it this way, turned it that –
But couldn’t work out where they sat
All cold and weary with no food
The situation was not good.
No credit left on mobile phone
They really wished they’d stayed at home.

Hours later they were found
By a young AA man on his round;
‘Are you a member Ma’am?’ he said
Mother frowned and shook her head.
‘Well I can’t help you in that case!’
Then saw the panic on Mum’s face.
‘OK’ he said ‘I’m feeling kind –
Sign this before I change my mind’.

She signed the form; he led the way.
They got to Grandma’s the next day.
They thought it was all over til
Mum got a stonking great big bill!

The moral of this tale is clear
If getting lost’s your greatest fear,
Before you venture very far
Check the contents of your car.
Make sure the SatNav’s in your bag
And just in case you hit a snag
Although you may not ever need it –
Take a map - and learn to read it!