YOU AND I
By moonphish
Fri, 26 Oct 2012
- 1483 reads
10 comments
as quiet as the turning of an ancient bible's page
as lonely as a lovebird with no mate to share its cage
as dark as painted windows where the light cannot shine through
that's all my life would ever be, if i were not with you
as solemn as a rain cloud drifting heavily with tears
as useless as a timepiece that'd been stripped of all its gears
as helpless as a sailboat in an unrelenting sea
that's what i would be going through, if you were not with me
as joyous as an anthem that is sung with bursting pride
as powerful as oceans that will pull you in its tide
as bright as summer sunshine in a blue and cloudless sky
that is what my life has been, since it's been you and i
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Comments
A wonderful poem - but one
A wonderful poem - but one little niggle - both 'it's' should be 'its'. It's is short for it is!
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This is so lovely Alvin..
This is so lovely Alvin.. fine words- Tony's not right about the last its- should be it's as you mean it has been you and I, don't you? Tee hee I itch when I see them..
;)Pia
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Brilliant, love the use of
Brilliant, love the use of imagery and rhyme to convey such a beautiful and powerful subject matter, my favourite line “as solemn as a rain cloud drifting heavily with tears” Well done
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