Diagnose

Cherry

By misskelizabeth

Mon, 16 Jul 2012
  • 1697 reads
16 comments
 

The day I got diagnosed with bipolar at just 11 years old, the doctor said you've got to take fluoxetine and I thought I had a cold.
This runs in the family he said,
your brother has it too.
I wondered how he knew?
I've been running from werid shapes
and hiding from school mates
thinking they would catch it too
but this was no ordinary flu
one minute I would be happy
the next I thought I was bad
my mummy was an alcoholic
and my daddy would get mad
sometimes I would get so low
that all I wanted was to know,
that my mummy loved me more
then the drink she does adore
I had alot of panic attacks
and I really don't know what for
I thought I saw shadows
standing at the door
every night my daddy would shout
'turn that freaking light out'
but daddy the dark is when there about
'stop talking nonsence'
daddy I'm really scared
but no-one answered I knew they never cared
writing was my own sort of cure
but I was never really sure
if this was a bug, if I needed a hug
no-one was really there
the doctor sent me to a psychiatrist
who questioned my every step
she said have I been feeling down?
have you even slept?
I just wanted it all to stop
I was making mistakes on the spot
I always knew this wasn't a flu
but it was the best way to explain
my feeling strange and blue
was this really bipolar? I havent a clue!

Certificate U
Opinion

Comments

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on
This is so very touching and I personally dont think u are or were definitely bi-polar - more a result of the horrific life you were putting up with, what with your deafness too. It is good to write these things out as I have always told you, and I believe you have a natural talent, remembering too songs you wrote when about 14. FFS u are still only 17 and have had more to deal with in your young life than most people do in a lifetime. U have come through and are a great person. Nurture these writing skills. Linda

Linda

Submitted by Mark Say on
You could do with adding a d 'diagnose'; at first I thought you were deliberately blurring the tenses, but then the poem is pretty consistent so it seems like a typo. That's a bit of nit picking. Otherwise I thought this was very effective; conveying a condition that's quite complex in simple terms.

 

Submitted by Yume1254 on
I was touched, mrskatehowell e.g: 'if this was a bug, if I needed a hug' This summed up that need most of us get when we're generally down and out. Be careful with your spellings, though: i.e. weird, alcholic. It didn't take away from your piece, but as you keep writing, it's something to keep in mind. As Linda has said, please keep writing. You already capture feelings so well. Y.

 

Submitted by Cavalcader on
new mrskatehowell Enjoyed it all,especially way you could write it all down! See the cherries now well deserved. Yes,so many are complex to diagnose. julie x

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on
Congrats on the cherries, well deserved. And I agree with Yume and Mark, now you have got into your stride, you'd better check spellings and grammar a bit, then your writing will be even better! Linda

Linda

Submitted by misskelizabeth on
Thank-you all for your comments. This poem came from the heart and I'm glad I got my cherrys. Will have to check due to writing this on my netbook with no spell check. apologies for the inconvenience and I shall always continue writing as it's my biggest passion! thanks again Kate

 

Submitted by Linda Wigzell Cress on
Hi Katie. No apologies required! U do so well already especially with the years of school you missed.This site is about helping each other and enjoying reading and writing so you can always get advice while continuing to produce the good work you are obviously capable of! Cherries well deserved. Linda

Linda

Submitted by scratch on
Wowsers Miss, that's a good effort and no mistake. Your writing is getting better and better. Well deserving of the accolades and the cherries.

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on
This is so honest, I really liked it, great to hear you are so passionate about writing. :-)

 

Submitted by misskelizabeth on
Thank-you so much scratch + fatboy74. I like to be honest cause I believe the best writing comes from the heart. :) lets hope I get some more cherries hey! Love writing and will continue pleasing all of you. Thanks again, Kate.

 

Submitted by deejay on
Some stories can only be told by those who experience it. This is one of them! Keep at it!

Submitted by TVR on
Aw, Kate, I just want to give you that hug and make all your troubles fly away. You put this over very well and I really felt for you. I think writing is great therapy. It has the power to exorcise the demons from our soul. So write on, baby! Much enjoyed. Trev PS: Well deserved cherries!

TVR

Submitted by TVR on
Aw, Kate, I just want to give you that hug and make all your troubles fly away. You put this over very well and I really felt for you. I think writing is great therapy. It has the power to exorcise the demons from our soul. So write on, baby! Much enjoyed. Trev PS: Well deserved cherries!

TVR

Submitted by Mark Heathcote on
This is a fabulous write it also runs in my family sadly but I think you’ve done right writing about it. Being open about these things can prevent them building up and it means you’ll be better prepared to deal with any recurrences… In the future!

Mark Heathcote

Submitted by misskelizabeth on
Thank-You all for the lovely comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed a poem so close to my heart and Mark your right. This does prevent them building up so I shall continue writing as my own cure.

 

Submitted by Denzella on
Yes, Katie, you make sure you continue to write as your own cure but work like this, so honest and heartfelt is therapy for us all. Well it did me good just reading it. May your cherries become an orchard, Moya