Galactic Chess Part One: The Stfxthqian Variation and the Goes Back Conspiracy

You maybe interested to know that the game of chess is not unique to humans. For eons it has been popular throughout other galaxies and in some dimensions chess has involved past a mere strategic board game.

Take the "Stfxthqian Variation" for example. The Stfxthnqians have included a “Goes-back” move that allows a player, upon finding him/herself in an awkward spot to insist that the game goes back a certain amount of moves to help correct whatever error he/she may have made. The roll of a dice determines just how many moves that can be taken back.

This of course gets tricky if any of the “Goes-back” moves were the result of a previous “Goes-back” variation. Often this results in violent frays, eventually broken up by the L.A.R.P.S (lethal Armed Riot-Patrol Squad).

The wisest species throughout the galaxies and dimensions warn against challenging any Stfxthqian to a game of chess, unless you are prepared to engage in mortal combat.

The Stfxthqians have included what they refer to as the “Sajaybee Advanced Goes Back Variation" (SAG 2BV for short) in which the opponent can insist a “Goes Back” on his/her first move. The result of this is quite frustrating as can be seen from the following game between Aweqwqer (white) and Ffffffrqeqqfa(black).

NB: INARA = insists the Advanced rule applies

__________________________________________________

1 P-k4_________________1 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
2 P-K3_________________2 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
3 P-Q3_________________3 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
4 P-Q4_________________4 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
5 P-KB4________________5 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
6 P-KR3________________6 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
7 P-QB3________________7 (INARA) Pawn Goes Back
8 Kkt-B3_______________8 (INARA) knight Goes Back
9 Qkt-B3_______________9 (INARA) Knight Goes Back
10 ...

At this stage Aweqwqer leapt from his seat kicked over the table, sending chess pieces flying in all directions, then leapt onto Ffffffrqeqqfa and started beating the living daylights out of him.

There are two schools of thought surrounding the logistics of why the Stfxthqians adopted the Advanced Goes back rule.

The first alleges that they are using it to demonstrate the futility of war, how no side ends up winning if they engage in mortal combat.

The second and more widely accepted is that it gives the chess players a chance to engage in violent arguments as well as keeping the L.A.R.P.S. occupied.

Legend has it that an extremely intelligent Chess-Grandmaster from another galaxy once crash-landed on Stfxthq and was challenged to a game by one of the mechanics whilst his spacecraft was being repaired. After several moves he fell into a deep trance and when he came too, he had formulated a cunning strategy which resulted in him checkmating his opponent.

Needless to say word of this match spread like wild fire and Stfxthqs demanded to learn of this strategy but the Grandmaster his opponent and the rest of the mechanics mysteriously vanished without trace (as did the spaceship according to the story)

Conspiracy Theorists pointed their tentacles squarely at the L.A.R.P.S. accusing them of foul play though this could never be proved. They alleged the Mechanics and the Opponent were paid of (or silenced permanently) while the passing Grandmaster had been incarcerated in a secret underground laboratory for experiments.

Chess enthusiasts were convinced of a cover-up. They argued that such a strategy would have been the death null of the “Takes back” variation.

Others were happy to accept the L.A.R.P.S. version that the mechanics, in awe of the Grandmaster, who had taken a shine to the Stfxthqs, had accompanied him back to his home planet.

Fanatical cults watched the skies in hope that one-day the mechanics would return to show them the “sacred strategy of Goes Back”.

The remainder who couldn’t careless about chess simply got on with their lives.

(continues)