Girl with the Gypsy Earring

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Wed, 23 Mar 2011
  • 5175 reads
23 comments
 

In her hair she wears a braid;
tied tight around her waist –
an apron made from lace,
as she stands shaping pizzas.

In her lunch-break – we walk;
I take a drag of her Gitane Brun,
and whisper, "Talk dirty to me."
Tells me, she’ll catch me later.

She deseeds juicy, plum tomatoes;
seasons spaghetti with oregano,
fresh chopped on a bamboo board
then drizzles it from her palm.

In topaz glow of a Tiffany lamp,
takes off her clothes, nice and slow,
as she goes down on me; her skin,
smells of roses and distant thunder.

Certificate 15
Silver Spun Sand Poems
Love

Comments

Submitted by Luly Whisper on
Vivid writing,and a good closing line.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks, Luly. Much appreciated;-) Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on
Wow! Tina, I've always thought that food and passion go hand in hand, I think you've nailed it with this beautiful poem. Thankyou for a great read. Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Many thanks, Jenny. 'If music be the food of love' and all that;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I agree with Luly! one thing - in the second stanza, you've said she says "she'll catch me later" - you don't really need speech marks there - it's reported speech

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks for reading, insert;-) As to the single speech marks, I guess I only used them to denote a kind of a catch phrase, but I agree, they would seem to be rather superfluous and misleading in this case. Many thanks for your advice. Tina

 

Submitted by TVR on
Well, Tina, now I've seen another side to you. You made me feel gooey after a couple of lines. Really good eroticism. Always seems to work with food and eating. Fabulooooooooooous! I'm just off to the bathroom with a juicy peach. I thought this was really good, and there's not many things that arouse me these days. Really, really, really sexy writing. Love it! Well done and lots, lots more - pleeeeeease! sd

TVR

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Many thanks, Sue;-) Pleased you enjoyed and hope that the peach was as juicy as anticipated;-) Tina

 

Submitted by seashore on
Wow - steamy stuff, Tina! Exotic and erotic...great last line. Coral

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Guess we could all do with a touch of 'steamy stuff' every now and again, Coral. Glad you enjoyed;-) Come to think of it, whilst I was writing it, I did have to demist my specs, every once in a while;-) Tina

 

Submitted by SteveM on
Great one Tina... 3rd verse made me feel hungry... as for the last one... Phowwwwrrrr (not sure how that word is spelt). Super read, wanted more. Steve p.s. I've finally got around to writing another story about my favourite vampire - Tina Aurora.

SteveM

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I think your spelling is spot on, Steve!!;-) As for your 'Tina Aurora' shall look forward to reading it, but now I must fly, as the sun is just about to creep over that horizon, and we all know what that means;-) Seriously though, many thanks for making me smile;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Dark Fox on
This is amazing as usual. The ending captures the poem so well. It is a perfect poem Dark Fox

Kayleigh Nichols

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Dark Fox, thanks for your more than kind comment;-) Tina

 

Submitted by Highhat on
I like the metaphor- her skin smells of distant thunder- great poem Tina- enjoyed it ;)Pia

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Pia - hope there is no thunder where you are today;-) Here it is really springlike. Glad you enjoyed the poem and many thanks for your lovely comment. Tina;-)

 

Submitted by johnshade on
Hot stuff... nothing is sexier than precision. Here's my edit of the third stanza: She deseeds juicy plum tomatoes, seasons spaghetti with oregano - fresh chopped on a bamboo board and drizzled from her palm.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
John - many thanks for reading. As you say, precision is everything, and I shall sleep on it. But not before I go and put the spaghetti on the slow burner;-) Tina

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on
It has all been said and some - I like john shades suggestion, but don't lose the comma in the first line of third - this sensous description is like a slow undressing and needs the pause. You are a gem Tina. :-)

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Thanks, fb;-) The beauty of this site, is certainly illustrated here...with these inspired suggestions, which I shall, of course, think carefully about. True gems, these;-) Have a great weekend. Tina

 

Submitted by rjnewlyn on
Well, I was reading late at night and it woke me up - powerful stuff! The last line is especially wonderful (not sure what distant thunder smells like but it's a wonderful phrase). Rob

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Rob - so sorry to have woken you up with such a jolt...but a 'nice jolt', I hope. And as to your question, haven't the foggiest idea, but as you say, who cares when it sounds good;-) Have a great weekend, and many thanks for your words. Tina

 

Submitted by Beeme on
I agree with Pia, love the love line. Excellent writing as always, really enjoyed :) Beeme xx

k.