Sweet Nothings
By Silver Spun Sand
Mon, 29 Mar 2010
- 6060 reads
26 comments
Our very first date –
hanging out at a bedsit,
Shepherd’s Bush way;
he impressed me, playing
a best mate’s drum-kit.
Had a good voice too;
in a group once, he said.
I was painfully shy –
he was kind of quiet;
had a stammer, a bad one –
except for when he sung.
On our way back
on the two-twenty bus,
we shared a Rothmans
and the usual small-talk.
Can’t recall the things
we spoke about...
Just the rabbit he made
out of a hanky,
and how the moon
sat on his shoulder
all the way home.
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Comments
A wonderful progression of
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
A wonderful progression of beautiful images, Tina! I especially love the final stanza and the 'moon sat on his shoulder'. This poem shows how imperfect love can in fact be the most perfect love in the world ;) Brilliant!
Magic xxx
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I really enjoyed this to. I
I really enjoyed this to. I love the last stanza in particular, a truly perfect ending with beautiful images.
Beeme xx
k.
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So beautiful; haunting,
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
So beautiful; haunting, even. An absolute pleasure to read :)
Rachel xx
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More than welcome, the
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
More than welcome, the pleasure was all ours!
:)
Rachel xx
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"and how the moon sat on his
Permalink Submitted by vidit.chopra on
"and how the moon
sat on his shoulder
all the way home"
These lines steal all the credit.
Nice one.
Vidit
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Well done on the cherry
Well done on the cherry Tina, richly deserved :-)
Beeme xx
k.
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new Silver-spun-sand Yes,
Permalink Submitted by Cavalcader on
new Silver-spun-sand
Yes, well done on the cherry!
Cleverly done as poet would.
Love last stanza to.
Just the rabbithe made
out of a hanky,
and how the moon
sat on his shoulder
all the way home.
It's all a cracker!
julie xx
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I have nothing to add except
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I have nothing to add except I thought it was lovely! xx
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Congratulations on the
Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Congratulations on the cherry, Tina :)
I'm also envious of people with such talents, especially people who can make little boats out of crisp packets! I'm just all fingers and thumbs and haven't got the patience!
Rachel xx
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Just p-p-p-perfect! You
Permalink Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
Just p-p-p-perfect! You have a knack of making the ordinary, extraordinary; class act!
Chris XXX
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Very sweet poem Tina, how we
Very sweet poem Tina, how we accept people without letting different 'faults' & talents, change our minds. Could you please explain what this Rothmans was, I don't know if you mean smoking on a bus, or if it is a new slang term for something one might get up to on a first date. ;) I am a little left behind these fast moving times. I can make a few things folding, infact last week showing off to my little sister I made a blow-up cube out of her chip wrappings. K xx
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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Hi Tina, I used to smoke on
Hi Tina, I used to smoke on the bus before too, good times, eh? :) I am kindof glad you can't smoke in some places now, I still think pubs atleast should be allowed. My cube, I think she made it into a game-die(not sure, dice?), I hope my mama binned it after. I like to pop into your imaginative-mind & memories every now & again, it's nice of you to let us. Hei, if we be left behind, I reckon it better, so rather where you are anyway. ;) xx
"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "
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