Hhmmm Effect (The)

The Hhmmm Effect

The Hhmmm effect is anything that makes you go "Hhmmm". We all have
them, but only
the truly blessed recognize them all, and take time out to indulge in
them.

things that make me go hhmmm (sure there's a song in there
somewhere).

I've had a hard day, and the back of my shoulders are aching, to slip
inch by inch into a
bath full of water, as hot as you can possibly stand it,now that's the
Hhmmm effect. To
have the time to be able to lie there decadently wallowing in the soft
bubbles of the
aromatherapy bubble bath, without a child hopping from one foot to the
other outside the
door and shouting "Muuuum I need the Jig, and I need it NOW"

To glide, naked, between clean, freshly washed, or better still, brand
new, crisp, cold
bedding. To be dog tired, and to be the first one to disturb the
perfection of the freshly
made bed, to be able to stretch out your arms and legs to find the
coldest parts, while you
sink back against the soft pillows.

To know that the days work is complete and doesn't need to be faced
for another twelve
hours.

To hear your child read, and to find that he breezes over words that
he struggled on the
day before.

To hear him say he loves you.

The first kiss from a potential lover, that leaves you breathless, and
yearning a thousand
more to follow.

To take your horse at six am and ride fast and hard, along the deserted
beach. To break
the virgin sand with galloping hoof prints. To smell of moist leather
and horse sweat.

To stand on a clifftop at four am, and feel the wind blowing away your
hurts.

My very favorite hhmm effect thing is but a pleasant memory for me now,
which made it
all the more of an Hhmmm Effect, because I knew the feeling was only
attainable for a
very short time.

It's three am, and I've been sleeping since nine pm. I'm woken by the
grizzling cries of
my two month old Son. He's just come out of hospital, after two months
of special care
baby treatment. It's so good to have him home. I creep softly into his
nursery, and his
head turns slightly to the light, that washes gently in from the hall.
I speak softly to him,
and he stops making his noise to listen, he recognizes my voice and
smiles. I love his
nursery it's so pretty. Teddy Bear wall paper, and pine bookcases, with
a full set of Enid
Blyton books, that were bought earlier for several other babies who
decided not to stay.
The shelves are lined with soft toys. A fluffy gradient of gruff
looking bulldogs, daddy,
mummy, and baby. Two large gorillas, a multitude of teddies, and
rabbits, and cats. All
watching, all guarding, all sharing the moment.

I walk to the cassette player and put on some soft music, very quietly.
Beverly Craven,
Crystal Gayle, the Carpenters, something gentle, something
soothing.

I lift you out of your cot. You are warm, and have the unmistakable
smell of clean baby. I
start to sing to you, very softly as I change you, you're hungry and
fractious, but I don't
mind, it's soon done.

Then I take you to the wicker peacock chair that sits between the two
bookcases, We
get comfortable you and I, and then I put you to my breast and begin to
feed you. It hurts,
but I don't mind.

I've never forgotten the feeling of complete and utter peace and
contentment, that those
moments gave me. I have never since felt as at ease with my life, as I
did for those short
months, feeding you in the early hours of the morning. Yet, you are my
serenity.Without
you and your elder brother there'd be no Hhmmm Effect. Nothing would
matter or have
reason. There would be nothing to show, and nothing to teach. One day
maybe I'll ask
you about your Hhmmm Effects. I know you won't remember the times in
the old wicker
chair, but the feeling of my love, flowing from my body and through to
yours, will have
given you a hunger for things to make you go Hhmmm, for what is that?
other than things
that bring comfort and pleasure. When the worlds a scary place we all
need somewhere to
retreat to, for me it's the wicker peacock chair, with soft music,
ambient surroundings,
and you at my breast, Where do you go my love when the world becomes
scary?.