A hundred moments in autism - My own personal dress down Tuesday

An autist’s relationship with societal rules is complex. We don’t innately understand them the way a neurotypical does. Many autists learn to follow these rules as a child, to blend in, this is one form of ‘masking’.

However, as we grow older, we may cease to follow these rules as we become independent, we may even rebel against them.

Clothing and dress is one of the areas where autists to struggle to understand the rules of dress.

In my early office jobs I wore a suit and tie, which was the norm in those offices at that time. It wasn’t comfortable, but on the other hand it was, I guess, a uniform of sorts.

I went to university after working for a few years, as a mature(ish) student. When I returned to work I physically struggled to wear a tie, which I found restricted my breathing, but I still work a smart shirt and trousers, and donned a tie for important meetings.

I continued to wear this smart dress for years and then, in my last job, in a small office with a lot of part time staff, I realised that I was the only person in the office on Friday afternoons. What was I getting dressed up for? I initiated a one-man dress-down Friday, coming into the office in T-shirt.

When I changed job a few years later, I took my one-man dress-down Friday with me. Then COVID happened and upon return to work I continued to work from home on Fridays.

But as I dressed down at home anyway, I made an executive decision. “I’m doing dress-down Tuesdays”, I told my boss.

In disability rights parlance, this is known as a ‘reasonable adjustment’.