A hundred moments in autism - The zinc and chrome plating problem (2)

The previous ‘moment’ explained the speed of my thinking, but it didn’t explain the next moment in the chain, the reason why I didn’t try harder to be understood, to explain the solution to the ‘zinc and chrome problem’.  

What went through my mind, as I realised that my response was being ignored? Self doubt, maybe the solution wasn’t as simple as I’d thought, frustration at being misunderstood and ignored, and a gap. A big gaping hole where I didn’t know what to say, how to assert myself. I didn’t want to repeat the solution only to be misunderstood and have the problem explained to me a third time. 

My usual approach would be to go to someone else with the answer, but there was nobody else, they had all been there, the entire team, they had all heard me explain the solution to the problem, and not one of them had understood. 

If you read my ‘Trip to the cinema’ moment, you will see a moment where it is clear that although I was in a very small minority of one, I was nevertheless clearly right, that the vast majority of people were capable of being complete idiots. It was actually an important moment in my life, odd though that may sound, t gave me confidence in being the odd one out. 

But this moment at the electronics factory was many years before then, I was still riddled with doubt. ‘If everyone else things it maybe I’m wrong’. I stayed quiet so as not to make a fool of myself.  

I went to my corner and waited for everyone else to catch up with me.  

I waited three and a half days.