Jingle Bells...Jingle Bells...!! ( IP)

‘…better now or never Rudo…bring them all in and let’s get on with it…!

Hi guys bad news I’m afraid,  there’s no easy way to say this but…!

As from today you’re  all going to be let go,  sacked, redundant, call it what you like!

Head office has pulled the plug on all the Santa Claus franchises world wide including us here in the UK!    

The whole Christmas package is not viable any more, the shareholders are complaining that there’s no profit in it for them and have demanded that all reindeer teams stop planning flight schedules with immediate effect!

They also told me that the SC franchise just can’t compete with Drone deliveries and all the days of the week called Black this, Panic that and Cyber whatever,

plus kids don’t write letters to Santa anymore!    

Buying is all online now as you know!  Scan, click and you have a toy delivered the next day!   

The all issues surrounding  climate change,   unpredictable winds and disappearing landing slots makes travelling by a sleigh laden with tons of bulky parcels extremely hazardous. Add to that the no fly zones that are in place, risk assessments, the list  of negatives is endless!

Now, you may have noticed that Donner and Blitzen aren’t here!

They caught sight of a leaked email a few days ago about the layoffs and without saying as much as a goodbye trotted off to join up with  Antlers Away!  

They won’t last long let me tell you,  AA is a back street pop up operation trying to cash in on the Santa scene, a zero contract outfit, mostly agency reindeer and a few flea bitten donkeys that’s all.    AA  say you have to shed your own antlers and buy their stick on ones fitted with led’s at a price.  No mileage allowance or comfort breaks, nothing.   Once the Christmas festivities are over its Job Seekers Allowance.

Anyway, on a positive note,  Strictly Come Dancing are looking for new contestants in the New Year.  So, for Dancer, Dasher and Prancer, sign up asap and  

Comet, there is a great opportunity for you to join astronaut Tim Peake on the International Space Station, you can teach him a thing or two about stars.

Vixen, there is a slot available on the Sound of Music show and there is talk of taking the production to the USA.

And Cupid, if you can hang on till Valentine’s Day, there’s lot’s and lot’s of sloppy love and kisses in it for you.  

Rudolph, as you’re the main man you have a number of choices.

Richmond Park London,a Nativity play at Butlins in Minehead, a theme park in…!  Hey, Rudo…where are you going?  Rudo, Rudo, get back in here,  do you hear me.  I knew I should have got rid of you years ago, a real drag on the team you were,

I hope your nose goes blue you loser…!