Mr Brown

Cherry

By Yume1254

Sun, 10 Mar 2013
  • 1157 reads
7 comments
 

Gran says: Put dat box down there and move dat one closer to the sofa, right? Gran is seventy-eight going on Shirley Bassey. I cast loved-up eyes over the living room of my childhood and do as I’m told.

Mum pulls a battered teddy bear out of a box. Lint parachutes from its body. One of its eyes is missing. She makes a face and chucks it on the sofa.

Gran yells: Don't throw like him like dat!
I question her with my eyes: Him?
Gran waddles to the sofa and collapses into it, picks up the teddy as if a surgeon removing a heart. She strokes his head, arms and stomach.
She says: This is Mr Brown, and smiles at me.
I look at Mr Brown and force a smile back.

Certificate 15
Story
Miscellaneous

Comments

Submitted by sid on
I really enjoyed this little snapshot of another generation. And it struck me as kind of a coming-of-age tale for the narrator too- the realisation that our grandparents are people just like us, who once had lives just as complicated and emotionally fraught as our own. Really well written, too

 

Submitted by Yume1254 on
Thank you very much, Sid. You've given me food for thought. Y.

 

Submitted by sid on
Sorry if that came out wrong- I was standing on a burger van flipping burgers when I wrote it. What I meant was, when I was younger I assumed for some reason that in the past people were simpler and more straightforward than they are nowadays. And when I realised they weren't, and that people have always been this way, it was quite a revelation, like sitting between two mirrors. This story reminded me of that feeling. And I liked the strange twist with Mr Brown, how you can mix reality with the bizarre and still keep the story credible. Sorry if I'm waffling

 

Submitted by Yume1254 on
Hey Sid, It didn't come out wrong at all, so please don't worry. I understood what you said, but I was simply too lazy to elaborate. The food for thought you gave me was that you've made me look at this story from a different perspective. It never crossed my mind to consider the theme of people, like grandparents, being flawed. It makes me think it's a theme I may try to experiment with in a future story. And, I know that feeling you're talking about. I'm touched that my story could evoke it. You're not waffling at all. I'm chuffed that you think the supernatural element worked, though I still have a lot to learn from Mr Stephen King. :-) So please - keep those thoughts coming, flipping burgers or not. :-) Y

 

Submitted by alex_tomlin on
I like this, a mix of sinister and family drama. It worked for me.

Submitted by Yume1254 on
Thanks for your comment alex_tomlin. I appreciate you stopping by.

 

Submitted by blighters rock on

Brilliant!