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I really like all the detail
Posted on Thu, 07 Feb 2019
I really like all the detail in this and also think the two main characters are shaping up nicely
A couple of suggestions:
The dialogue as they walk around the town - it's a bit block of text followed by block of text and I'm not...
Read full commentPosted in Charlie and Eliza (Pt 1)
nicely written - I prefer
Posted on Wed, 30 Jan 2019
nicely written - I prefer this piece to the one you posted yesterday - perhaps because the writing is a bit more relaxed?
Read full commentPosted in The Tar Pit (1 of 9)
Di, from experience with one
Posted on Sat, 29 Sep 2018
Di, from experience with one of my sons, a diagnosis is really important - and it can take ages to arrange unless you get it done privately which can cost a fortune. A diagnosis of dyspraxia meant my son was given extra time in GCSEs (whatever...
Read full commentPosted in A Martian in the Closet
Hahahaha - thanks for the
Posted on Wed, 11 Jul 2018
Hahahaha - thanks for the translation London/parson - I know it's petty but Tony was very strict about that so I guess we should be too
Read full commentPosted in The meeting - good friends
No sense in talking about the
Posted on Wed, 20 Jun 2018
No sense in talking about the cracks.
Blokes don’t need help,
just a good night’s sleep
a shower
a shit
a shave and
a shag
my father said
my mates said
my brother said
that makes me so...
Read full commentPosted in The Iceberg
I really like the meticulous
Posted on Sun, 26 Nov 2017
I really like the meticulous detail in this piece - the timetable of the woman's day works well as a frame for the narrative, and the small events come across as very authentic, as does the relationship between the couple.
Suggestions: In...
Read full commentPosted in May you live all the days of your life
Hi - what a fascinating peice
Posted on Mon, 10 Feb 2014
Hi - what a fascinating peice this is! it was really interesting the way you compared the different geographical prejudices. My only criticisim is that we're kind of left hanging .... there's so little about when you're actually there. I was...
Read full commentPosted in 7 days in Tehran
Hello fining - welcome to ABC
Posted on Sat, 04 Jan 2014
Hello fining - welcome to ABC. This has a nice flow to it, but since you've specifically asked, I do have a couple of observations:
firstly, it might have been better to post the prologue and chapter one seperately - easier for...
Read full commentPosted in August Shadow (working title): Prologue
This wonderful piece is our
Posted on Sun, 05 Jan 2025
This wonderful piece is our social media Pick of the Day!
Please share if you enjoyed it as much as I did
Read full commentPosted in Making Do with Dusty Springfield
Nice to see you back writing
Posted on Sat, 04 Jan 2025
Nice to see you back writing Kris. I like the way you mix the cooking with the real story here - nicely done!
Read full commentPosted in Dinner-with 5 eyez (stripped)
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