All the good girls are taken

Alex is with Tim,
Joan is with Jim,
Gabriel’s with Tom,
Shelby’s with John,
There’s just no one left tonight
All the good girls are taken
Or waiting for a bite
And if I’m not mistaken,
I’m a free man tonight.

Everyone seems to be having a ball,
Even that old git’s getting it on,
With our old Prom King Paul,
And even Dion,
As fat
As vile
As ugly as she is,
How did she get with Brad?
Christ I thought I was drunk,
But Brad must be wasted.

But hang on,
Who’s that?
Such fine legs,
Such nice curves,
And by curves I don’t mean her hips boys
I mean her curves.
How is she alone?
Out here in the unknown,
Not that well known
But hey if she’s single
I’m going for it.

But wait,
That smell,
That smelly smell you smell
When you’re alone,
Like a hidden sense you never had.
That strong hinted cologne,
I wasn’t the only one after that bird,
Stevens on my tail
Crap I gotta get moving,
I’m only one guy but Steven…
He’s 10 guys rolled in one,
Gets what he wants,
When he wants
Even when he doesn’t.
But I’m not going down
Without a decent fight.

The girl’s still alone,
I might have a chance,
Comb back the hair,
Check.
Get rid of the smell,
Check.
Stay sober on the way,
A few shots of Jack never hurt,
But I’m ready
And she’s waiting,
I’m going for it,
She gives me a glance,
Time to move in for the kill
Only seconds left
Steven’s still behind
I place my hand on the table
And order her a tonic
And then,
Before I know it,
Christ she’s fast.
She’s already left.
And my eyes seem to burn
A fresh peppermint burn.

Ahh well,
I’m probably too much for her to handle,
She wants me on the inside
But I guess I’ll have to wait.
Not before another beer though.
Or maybe two.
And a few more shots
Maybe a Stella will keep me going.
But just one things confusing me,
While in my trail of thoughts
Of several hundred boozes,
I’ve seemed to end up on the streets
Lying in a gutter.
But to be honest,
Amy looks quite fit from here
I might still have a chance.