I Wanna Be An X-Man

Dear Professor Xaviar,

I wanna be an X-Man - I've got a mutant gene,
I wanna be an X-man, put me on the team.
I'm developing a super power,
and it's getting stronger - hour by hour.

I do not do telepathy, I cannot really fly,
I can't control the elements, or fight and never die.
I can't become invisible, or change my body size,
I cannot see right through things using x-ray eyes.

I'll tell you what I can do - Professor, hear my plea,
I can hide away in cupboards and smell of month old cheese.
Initially this seems a pretty useless skill,
but if you get too close to me you'll feel mighty ill.

I can replicate the odour of all cheeses on the deli,
from the mildest of cheddars, to a brie all ripe and smelly.
I think my power is grand and really rather neat-o,
and could come in quite handy to overpower Magneto.

So let me be an X-Man - I've got the mutant gene,
Let me be an X-man and work with Wolverine.
Whenever there is trouble, and you get in a tight squeeze,
you know you can rely on the man who smells like cheese

Yours

The Double Gloucester