you have mail

By shoe

Tue, 30 Mar 2010
  • 2358 reads
12 comments
 

I came across you, in my contacts list.
I thought to say Hi,
or Hey or Hullo,
and caress the idea,
an ex-junkie being offered a fix.

I thought to tell you how it was,
the High definition, Glorious Technicolour, Panoramic,
Adrenalin rushed, Rocket fuelled highs.

And the world ending, booze soaked,
face down in a ditch, return to foetal,
agoraphobic lows.

And how when I lost you,
was like open heart surgery
without anasthetic,
a food, sleep, oxygen deprived existance.
and how the normalcy of each day staggers me
like a sunny afternoon after a matinee.

I really ought not say Hi, or Hey or
...sending....(oops)

Certificate U
Poem
What was I thinking! they sounded so good in my head.
Love

Comments

Submitted by kheldar on
Powerful stuff, very hard hitting. David :--)

cool

Submitted by threeleafshamrock on
...'the normalcy of each day staggers me like a sunny afternoon after a matinee.' Liked the whole piece but this line especially ;) Chris XX

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I really liked this poem Shoe. Especially the way it starts off mundane and becomes something else altogether

 

Submitted by RachelPatricia on
Really like this :) I know that feeling of sending something you didn't intend to! Never thought about creating a piece from the experience, though, what a lovely idea and you've done it so well. Rachel xx

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
I agree - powerful stuff. (Just a couple of minor points. Should be 'agoraphobic' and 'existence'...I think;-) My favourite stanza:- "I thought to tell you how it was, the High definition, Glorious Technicolour, Panoramic, Adrenalin rushed, Rocket fuelled highs." As has been said, I think we can all identify with sending something in a fit of pique, and realising, whoops...shouldn't have done that;-) Enjoyed. Tina xx

 

Submitted by MistakenMagic on
'And how when I lost you, was like open heart surgery without anasthetic, a food, sleep, oxygen deprived exsistance.' - absolutely love these lines, Shirley! They're so raw but beautiful - as is the whole poem. Well done! Magic xxx

 

Submitted by shoe on
Thanks Tina, your proofing is much appreciated, corrected now, glad you enjoyed it too,:~}

 

Submitted by shoe on
David, Chris, Insert, Magic, Rachel, Many, many thanks to you guys, for choosing the bits you like and taking time to comment, cheers up a chilly spring day no end!:~}

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Jus' perfick now;-) Tina xx

 

Submitted by Anna Marie on
I don't know where to begin. This stanza: And how when I lost you, was like open heart surgery without anasthetic, a food, sleep, oxygen deprived existance. and how the normalcy of each day staggers me like a sunny afternoon after a matinee. I was enamored enamored with this line. Strong, poignant stuff. You've knocked me over, so early in the day. -Anna

 

Submitted by shoe on
Anna, Really pleased you like this, thank you so much for your very complimentary comment,:~}

 

Submitted by Kahdai on
Marvellous shoe! I love the last lines, like me now! Kahdai xxx

"I will make sense with a few reads \^^/ "