Scientists can prove bees can't fly

Ever since primitive man watched the flight of birds he has wanted to join them. It took quite a long time, but after many thousand years and a few false starts, it became possible with the help of complicated machinery.

Human flight was around a hundred years old when Timothy Brown was born! Even as a baby he was small and skinny. No matter how much he ate he remained thin, until his mother despaired of him ever becoming chubby like all the other babies in her circle of friends.

As he grew older she would often hear a bump from Timmy’s room at night time and go upstairs to find him lying on the floor.

“I’ve been flying Mummy!” he’d say, as he was picked up and tucked back into bed.

Every evening when he was put to bed, his mother would tuck the sheets firmly round him hoping to stop him falling out of bed during the night. Nearly every morning she would find him lying happily on the floor, saying that he’d dreamed about flying. He appeared to be perfectly normal in all respects otherwise, just an ordinary skinny little kid with a recurrent dream about flying.

He stayed thin through his early childhood, then one eventful day he went off to a comprehensive school. Lessons here were far more difficult than any he’d had before. He also came across bullying for the first time in his life. Other children would push him around because he was so short and weedy. Eventually he would fall over and start crying, then the bullies would stop pushing and shout, “Skinny Timmy’s a cry baby” as they ran away.

Then one day in class, the teacher started teaching the theory of flight in birds and insects. Power to weight ratios were explained and to illustrate the point Timmy was called out in front of the class.

“Now Timothy is the lightest boy here by far,” explained the teacher, “but although he is as strong as the average boy of his age, no matter how hard he tries he still can’t fly.”

He made Timmy flap his arms up and down to prove the point. Apart from the embarrassment caused by standing out in front of his classmates, Timmy instinctively knew there was something wrong with this method of flying. He began to waggle his hands backwards and forwards as he flapped and immediately could feel the thrust of the airflow across his palms.

“Timothy will never fly without the aid of machinery of course. As a matter of interest, aeroplane designers can prove that a bee can’t fly, but fortunately nobody has ever told the bee!”

Timmy went back to his seat while the rest of the class laughed, mostly at him and partly because of the teacher’s joke.

He had more sense than to attempt to fly in front of the class, but hurried home that afternoon to try out his thoughts in the privacy of his bedroom. Like the bee, he knew he could fly whatever any one else said and this afternoon he was going to prove it.

He stood in front of his full length wardrobe mirror and holding out his arms, waggled his hands to get a grip on the air. Success!; his feet left the ground by an inch or two but he had to stop quickly because almost at once his arms felt tired. He thought for a moment, before the idea of a propeller flashed into his head. Holding each hand down by his side he waggled his hands again.

Once again his feet came off the floor, but this time he held himself still in the air for at least a couple of minutes.

Every day after school he’d dash up stairs to his room and practice flying to strengthen his muscles. Then he’d complete his homework and go downstairs again for the evening meal. His mother stopped worrying about him for the first time in her life. Her son was still skinny for his age, but at last the flying dreams seemed to have stopped and he was now getting a good night’s sleep.

Of course he knew it would be difficult to keep his secret, but he managed very successfully until the day a group of older boys began taunting him one afternoon by the bike sheds. Timmy was aged fourteen by now and the bullies were correspondingly bigger. They not only pushed him, but these boys were hitting him as well. One of them hit him very hard on the arm and Timmy got frightened and tried to run away, but he’d been surrounded and there was nowhere for him to go. Then his flying training took over subconsciously and he went straight up in air to a height of fifteen feet to escape them.

The bullies all gasped in terror and ran off, not believing their eyes. From that moment on Timmy was never bullied again. Although the boys told their friends, no one, including the girls in the school ever believed them. Everyone knew people can’t fly without using some sort of machine.

He began going out at night, flying high up in the sky enjoying the freedom and fresh air. As far as he knew nobody ever saw him, or if they did then they just couldn’t believe their eyes and didn’t want to make themselves seem foolish by talking about it.

Then one day a nature programme on the television gave him an idea. The picture showed swans and other water fowl running along the surface of the water as they flapped their wings desperately in order to get up to take off speed. Now Tim knew his kind of flying didn’t depend on speed, but he could run and if he flew low enough for his feet to touch the ground, he should be able to run very quickly. Then he’d be able to strengthen his flying muscles every day and nobody would give him a second glance.

Well it didn’t turn out quite as simply as that. People just don’t run very quickly in an perfectly upright position. But Tim soon found that if he leaned forward until he nearly fell over, he could fly along at great speed, with his feet just touching the ground, in a similar fashion to the water birds he’d seen.

For the last year of his schooldays Tim represented his school on sports days, winning all his sprint races in record times. For the first time in his life he became popular with other children.

He continued to learn and grow in comparative peace. Then his voice broke and he became interested in girls. There was one particular girl in his class that few boys ever spoke to. She was very thin like Tim and they were just naturally drawn towards each other. They were soon going out together and the other pupils started joking about them.

“Put Milly and Tim together and they’d only make one normal sized person,” and similar comments.

Neither of them minded, at last they had each found someone of like mind to share their thoughts and keep each other company.

Life for them both became very fulfilling and in the course of time Tim and Milly found jobs and married. As newly weds they decided to rent a flat and began saving as best they could, to be able to buy a little place of their own.

Tim never told Milly about his secret. After all, no one had ever believed him before, not even his mother. Then one night Tim woke to the smell of smoke in their bedsit. He went out on to the landing and could see the flames already coming up the staircase. He hurried back to the bedroom and woke his wife.

“The flat’s on fire and there’s no way out except through the window.”

“But we’re on the third floor,” cried Milly in terror, “we’ll never make it to the ground alive!”

“I want you to put your arms round my neck and hold on tight, I know it’s frightening but you’ll just have to trust me!”

Shaking with fright Milly, ran over to the window in her bare feet and did as she was told. Tim opened the window, climbed out onto the window sill and flew down to the ground. He found he could just cope with the extra weight and aimed for a convenient shrub in the garden to soften their landing.

Firemen were arriving just as they got to their feet. “Jolly lucky that bush was there to break your fall,” said a fireman, as he ran past them, unrolling a hose as he went, “you could have broken your bloody necks!”

Milly was gazing at Tim in wonder. “You flew down didn’t you? All those stories at school were true!”

Tim nodded, “Came in useful didn’t it,” he joked bashfully.

That’s the end of the story really, but if you happen to live near a very thin couple with three scrawny kids, just take a look up at the sky on clear nights, you may be surprised by what you see!