Once Upon a Time

By Silver Spun Sand

Fri, 08 Apr 2011

5324 reads

22 comments

There was a time
your goldfish
were mine, too;
in a bowl
in our blue-room...

a vase of aquilegia
shed nightshade petals,
and your bread –
baking in the oven
rose and rose again.

A dream-catcher
over our bed,
drifting to our highs
and our lows...
silver beads between
your breasts, glistening;
sleep, the last thing
on our minds...

a watermelon moon
through Breton lace,
net curtains, traced
purple shadows on your skin,
and raindrops on diamond,
leaded-lights, thrummed
a bolero beat...

our breath, and hearts
quickening as one;
both transported
to that special place
inside each other...

Once upon a time
when we were young
and you and me
equalled us.

Certificate 12

Poem

Silver Spun Sand Poems

Love

Comments

I'll tell you which line I

Permalink Submitted by Highhat on Fri, 2011-04-08 13:08

I'll tell you which line I especially like. ". . . and you and me equalled us." and then the bread baking ". . rose and rose again"- I love seeing my bread raising in the oven- it is so satisfying. This was a perfect and romantic poem Tina- really really lovely ;)Pia

Thanks for that, Pia. I just

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Fri, 2011-04-08 13:15

Thanks for that, Pia. I just adore making bread...you can keep all your bread-making machines. There is something so very therapeutic about kneeding the dough and watching it rise. So pleased you enjoyed this, and telling me in such a lovely way;-) Tina

Hi Tina, I like the idea of

Permalink Submitted by skinner_jennifer on Fri, 2011-04-08 18:27

Hi Tina, I like the idea of the title, 'the Once Upon A Time,' It cunjures up so much sentiment, remembering times gone by, I totally agree with Pia about those last lines:- Once upon a time when we were young and you and me equalled us. How much more special could you get than those words? I also loved the line, a watermelon moon, very descriptive and completely different. Simply Beautiful. Jenny.

Many thanks for reading

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Fri, 2011-04-08 18:33

Many thanks for reading this, Jenny. I guess you need a break from that writing of yours. Pleased you enjoyed;-) Tina

Really like this one Tina,

Permalink Submitted by fatboy74 on Fri, 2011-04-08 21:44

Really like this one Tina, very beautiful particularly middle four stanzas. :-)

Glad you think so, fb.

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sat, 2011-04-09 08:53

Glad you think so, fb. Thanks, so very much;-) Tina

Tina - I thought this was

Permalink Submitted by Overthetop1 on Sat, 2011-04-09 04:55

Tina - I thought this was just beautiful. It really rung bells for me and you expressed sentiments familiar to me incredibly well. You get an extra cherry from me for that.

Overthetop1

OTT - what can I say, but

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sat, 2011-04-09 08:54

OTT - what can I say, but that your cherry has that extra special flavour, all its own. Thanks so very much. Hope you have a peaceful weekend;-) Tina

One of your best I think,

Permalink Submitted by seashore on Sat, 2011-04-09 08:33

One of your best I think, Tina.

I'm really pleased you think

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sat, 2011-04-09 08:55

I'm really pleased you think that, Coral;-) Many thanks. Tina

I agree with Seashore, I

Permalink Submitted by Beeme on Sat, 2011-04-09 16:42

I agree with Seashore, I think this is one of your best. So beautiful and romantic :) Beeme xx

Thanks, so very much,

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sat, 2011-04-09 17:28

Thanks, so very much, Beeme;-) Tina xx

I love this poem. Another of

Permalink Submitted by Dark Fox on Sat, 2011-04-09 23:30

I love this poem. Another of your great ones. I love the stanza about sleep being last thing on their mind. It is nice to be young and not have to worry about other things like work, money or life in general. Being lost in each other is more important. Thank you again Tina Dark Fox

Kayleigh Nichols

Dark Fox - you are more than

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sun, 2011-04-10 12:55

Dark Fox - you are more than welcome. Many thanks for reading, and for your words. You are so very right in what you say;-) Tina

'a vase of aquilegia shed

Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on Sun, 2011-04-10 10:51

'a vase of aquilegia shed nightshade petals, and your bread – baking in the oven rose and rose again.' - love these lines, Tina. A poem for the senses to really play and play on the heartstrings. Well done! Magic xxx

Thanks, Magic;-) You have

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Sun, 2011-04-10 12:56

Thanks, Magic;-) You have such a lovely way of putting things. Tina xxx

Gorgeous, Tina. Agree with

Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on Sun, 2011-04-10 17:59

Gorgeous, Tina. Agree with all that's been said, another outstandingly beautiful and heartfelt poem of yours - thank you for such a lovely read :) Rachel xx

Rachel - thanks so much, and

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Mon, 2011-04-11 18:12

Rachel - thanks so much, and I am so pleased that your latest poem is doing so well. It really is a gem that truly sparkles;-) Tina xx

I like the way this piece

Permalink Submitted by barryj1 on Mon, 2011-04-11 17:56

I like the way this piece builds in poetic increments toward that stunning ending. Understated and undemonstrative, the poem is quite perfect.

barryj1

Barry - thanks so very much.

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Mon, 2011-04-11 18:14

Barry - thanks so very much. Your comment, as always, more than illustrative and thoughtful;-) Tina

Tina, thank you so much for

Permalink Submitted by RachelPatricia on Fri, 2011-04-15 15:13

Tina, thank you so much for that. Your kindness and sheer loveliness shine through in everything you write, and a compliment like that from a poet I admire is priceless - you're a star, and I'm ever grateful :) All the more beautiful second time round, this is, by the way - a sparkling gem and then some, if you ask me ;o) Thanks again, for both the read and the encouragement, Rachel xx

Your words mean a lot,

Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on Fri, 2011-04-15 16:20

Your words mean a lot, Rachel. Just keep writing, that is thanks enough;-)Tina