Seafaring Phantom
By skinner_jennifer
Mon, 02 May 2011
- 4804 reads
17 comments
Soft breezes blow,
the only sound...
the crashing of the waves,
the swell of the sea
breaking on the shore,
a flat bottomed boat
lies in shallow water,
left alone neglected,
barren...
decomposing wood,
one man waits
a fisherman maybe,
staring out to sea
ever waiting...
a land lover he is not,
a ghostly figure he becomes
ceasing to exist,
disembodied...
his soul yearning
for what will never be.
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Comments
Wow - a haunting piece,
Permalink Submitted by MistakenMagic on
Wow - a haunting piece, Jenny! I can see the fisherman now. Well done!
Magic xxx
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Great Poem like always Jenny
Permalink Submitted by prettyrose on
Great Poem like always Jenny :):))) It wasn't so much scary for me sorry if that was the intent like magic said :) but made me pine for the sea as I love it so much, so a nice warm feeling covered with annoyed I am not by the sea feeling lol.
But yes thinking on it Magic late at night staying in a cabin or beach house by the sea reading this, I am sure we would feel a chill Jenny lol either way your a gifted writer with a lovely personality to match :)))
Keep Smiling
Keep Writing xxx
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It seems we both had the sea
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
It seems we both had the sea on our minds this afternoon, Jenny. This is a beautiful poem. You really do paint a wonderful picture with your words.
Tina;-)
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Jenny you've done a really
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
Jenny you've done a really good job of building up the atmosphere in this poem - I especially like the first stanza
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Yes I agree with all that
Yes I agree with all that has been said. Wonderfully haunting and maybe even a bit sad with the longing "phantom".
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Again this is really good
Again this is really good Jenny - you are being more economical with your phrasing and missing some words out which is working really well. Really effective. Keep it going! :-)
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Def better than the last
Def better than the last poem of yours I read. I enjoy the subtle beauty and flow but most of all I like the fact that you don't insist on filling it with overly flowery imagery and instead use simple imhes to focus on the profound experience of the fisher. Nicely done!
Give me the beat boys and free my soul! I wanna getta lost in ya rock n' roll and drift away. Drift away...
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