Diary of a fearful poet

1.

I started loving you on the second day
that we talked and on the third day when I saw
you in the pub, my heart thumped like thunder,
your eyes, a hyssop blue matched the colour of

the portable radio in my doctor’s
waiting room, where I passed the time wondering
what songs entered your ears and inside I spoke
about stress and flu and all things unrelated
to you, because you are a secret.

2.

In acting class I performed not being affected
but it fell flat

and when I fake-kissed your cheek my lips left
a stain whilst snowflaked sonnets fell from trees
outside but

I can’t force you to love me
…can I?

3.

It was Open Mic night when I read my poem
out loud with trembling hands I stared at you,
hoping you knew and then my voice – a squeak –
drowned by the caterwauling couple in the
corner and you turned to see whilst huge chunks
of heart fell to the floor I shuffled them
aside and continued my ode to you
but words
fall
fast
into the abysm
of an absent
audience.

4.

Celestial navigation under strobe
lights, our bodies touch, just once
and my skin ignites at the sublime
geodetic unit of you and me
until
a flash: your body close to hers
and his and hers

I need air

Skidding over frozen concrete
beneath the lowering sky I
leave my writing
to interpret
itself.