Lying in the Grass
By JoseHdz
Wed, 08 Jun 2011
- 3407 reads
20 comments
Going out to dinner
On the other side
Of town
At some fancy
Crowded restaurant
Drinking bitter
Overpriced wine
Never really
Interested me
Instead let's
Lay in the
Fresh grass
At the park
Beneath the sun
And write each other
Poems across
The palms of our hands
And down the sides of
Our forearms
And when we run
Out of space
At the protruding elbows
Let’s just laugh and let
The vastness of
The impending
Night sky
Write the
Final verse:
On our hearts.
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Comments
Jose, my first reaction to
Jose, my first reaction to this was 'wow'. My second reaction is still 'wow' but even more so. What a beautifully romantic piece. I particularly like the third stanza and the final line. Wonderful work.
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Funnily enough, I too put my
Funnily enough, I too put my work out as soon as I'm done. But I'd like to change this habit and learn to ponder them a bit more. But each to his or her own, right?
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Yeh, I'm going to try it,
Yeh, I'm going to try it, but it's pissing down here.
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The whole poem feels so
The whole poem feels so spontaneous and natural and effortless, very fine.
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You are a 'master at your
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
You are a 'master at your craft', Jose, no doubt about that;-)
Tina
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Read this and re-read it
Permalink Submitted by Mummy Penguin on
Read this and re-read it with tears in my eyes - simply beautiful.
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This is pure whimsy.
This is pure whimsy. Beautiful writing. All you can do after the final verse is smile and shake your head. I sort of wish there was more but that would spoil things.
barryj1
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I think you were dead right
Permalink Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on
I think you were dead right to end it as you did. Less is definitely more. this is wonderful
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