The Funeral

Nice one Denzella, went to a funeral just recently. They played "Purple People Eaters", have no idea why. Didn't know whether to laugh or not! After a few minutes we all started laughing, which is just what the old boy would have wanted. Guess that was the point"

Hi Denzella, Your observations are hysterical.'Wish you were here' takes on depths of new meaning. Liked the poem too.

Good afternoon Denzella, I'm no poet but have been told recently I have an ear for metre. Just the one ear though so I can't lend you it for a prolonged period. However, I had a quick listen to your poem and came up with this for your first verse, or stanza seeing as we're getting technical. I wandered lonely through the crowd Of friends that stood all gathered round Those that came, were his friends, not mine But when asked, answered, “Yes, I’m fine!” could be I wandered lonely through this crowd of mourners stood all gathered round The friends who came were his not mine and when they asked I said I'm fine That's as far as I got before my ear changed channel and tuned into the news on BBC. Best of luck. Hope you had a good weekend.

Hi Denzella, Oldpesky has it right ,I think. There are a couple of beats out, after that,but that's all, to my ear. You maybe need another slight stress in stanza2 instead of'best' maybe 'only'. And maybe rework 'a great healer'.It sounds a little weak to my ear,perhaps'the greatest healer'but that might change your meaning too much. Listen,it's doing great as it is,and I'm no expert. P.S Say it out loud as if it's a rap.Sometimes that works!

Hi Denzella, Oldpesky has it right ,I think. There are a couple of beats out, after that,but that's all, to my ear. You maybe need another slight stress in stanza2 instead of'best' maybe 'only'. And maybe rework 'a great healer'.It sounds a little weak to my ear,perhaps'the greatest healer'but that might change your meaning too much. Listen,it's doing great as it is,and I'm no expert.

Hi Denzella, Oldpesky has it right ,I think. There are a couple of beats out, after that,but that's all, to my ear. You maybe need another slight stress in stanza2 instead of'best' maybe 'only'. And maybe rework 'a great healer'.It sounds a little weak to my ear,perhaps'the greatest healer'but that might change your meaning too much. Listen,it's doing great as it is,and I'm no expert.

I've come late to this one, but listen to Old Pesky. He helped me considerably with my Jennifer Jane series. I think of him more as a mate than just another author. Personally I'm a rod, pole and perch man!