It's easy

By andrew-evans

Mon, 20 Feb 2012

881 reads

4 comments

You say that
you're too much work
or not pretty enough
for me,
you know that
you have issues
and things that
most others don't,
and sometimes
you'll tell me things
and other times you won't,
but I really couldn't
ask for any one better than you,
you're no work at all
and the most beautiful girl I see,
truth is, I'm a little messed up too,
I've got history
and issues
and I can be difficult
but you helped me and fixed me
so now I'll do the same for you.

Certificate U

Miscellaneous

Comments

Well written - perhaps have

Permalink Submitted by lavadis on Mon, 2012-02-20 14:12

Well written - perhaps have a bit of a go at editing it

Thank you. Edited it in

Permalink Submitted by andrew-evans on Mon, 2012-02-20 19:02

Thank you. Edited it in which way, as in a mini re write or do i need to check spelling?

Andrew it's a pleasure to

Permalink Submitted by scratch on Thu, 2012-02-23 23:24

Andrew it's a pleasure to read this poem and I have had a (brief) look at some others of yours. Make an asset of what currently is an issue. I think I count ten 'you' pronouns or derivatives in twenty one lines (forgive me if I am wrong). Try to bring formula and/or symmetry to this repetition and the whole thing will be hugely enhanced. Apart from that a good poem and I'm glad I saw your name up. Thanks for sharing.

Sorry should have said the

Permalink Submitted by scratch on Thu, 2012-02-23 23:27

Sorry should have said the spelling's fine. Check the seventh line in its context with the others.