Just A Dream
By skinner_jennifer
Wed, 22 Feb 2012
- 2479 reads
8 comments
I dreamt I wandered the ocean's edge,
my black – sleek – shiny cat at my side,
I saw my face up in the sky, clouds
colouring my lengthy black hair...
delving into the depths of my
soul, feelings of parallel worlds,
kept me joyous in my content...
giving me a feeling of tranquillity,
maybe this was heaven...
as the moon's fullness,
reflected on the gentle surf,
undulating across the very
earth I stand upon.
My feline friend leads me on,
no words leave her lips, only the
voice of understanding do I hear,
our minds as one...till at last my
body sinks...dreamlike, between
the corals of my womb, where
creatures deposit their eggs and
life's renewed upon my waking.
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Comments
Jenny - hope you're feeling
Permalink Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on
Jenny - hope you're feeling loads better, and judging by this poem, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you are;-)
It really is a beautiful poem. (Just a small point...'dreamlike' - all one word.) I also wondered if if might be a good idea to add the word 'lips' after the line 'no words leave her (lips)'. It makes quite a nice internal rhyme with 'sinks' later on in the stanza. Just an idea, anyway;-)
My favourite stanza is this:-
"delving into the depths of my
soul, feelings of parallel worlds,
kept me joyous in my content...
giving me a feeling of tranquillity,"
You mention 'feline friend' ( I like the alliteration by the way;-) and I know my cat, was always a wonderful comfort to me, when I was poorly.
Very much enjoyed;-)
Tina
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Funny this was a dream
Funny this was a dream because you captured the dreamlike atmosphere very well Jenny- I like the thought of "corals of my womb"- very dreamy indeed. I'm so glad you are feeling better and back to the drawing board with your poems- lovely.
;)Pia
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Yes, like Pia that phrase
Yes, like Pia that phrase stood out for me too Jenny - sorry to hear you've been unwell but glad you are on the mend and writing again./ :-)
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Indrani Ananda Sorry to hear
Permalink Submitted by Indrani Ananda on
Indrani Ananda
Sorry to hear you've not been well, Jenny. This poem is serene and has the feeling of being well rested after some hard time and waking with relief. That last stanza is so true, the wordless way a cat can speak and understand its owner, and the priceless comfort they give when you are ill. This really struck a chord with me in a wistful way. Thanks for sharing it.
Indrani.
Indrani Ananda
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