They lay like plaited bread in love…

By Mark Heathcote

Tue, 28 Feb 2012
  • 444 reads
3 comments
 

Kneading those white buttocks
Back and forth, in greedy palms
Stretching over doughy flesh
He then holds her warm breasts
There rising indicates
The ovens warmth is intensifying
Moister starts to perspire!
Drip by drip, down, plaited hair.
Seconds are vacating minutes.
Minutes untangling hours…
Legs are made jelly…
And empty of all desires “rigidity”.
They lay like plaited bread in love.

Certificate 12
Poem
The kismet fate of serendipity
Erotica

Comments

Submitted by maisie on
I like this poem; it has some lovely images and conjures self known experiences beautifully. The eye of the reader is caught on a personal level. ON a technical level, I wonder if too many 'ings' are putting it too far into the past... and whether another word could be found perhaps starting with a v (same meaning) could make the second 'vacating' a more memorable experience....

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!

Submitted by Mark Heathcote on
Thanks your comment Maisie and I like your suggestions and will look this one over again in a few days. :)

Mark Heathcote

Submitted by maisie on
oh eck, now I'm uncertain.... the beginning is a real grabber. I did one titled 'feeder' years ago, which dealt with flesh, and it had the same effect...

maisie angel Guess what?  I'm still alive!