Inspiration! I.P.

Inspiration! I.P.

‘Excuse me,’ I said to the woman I bumped into as I turned the corner ‘I seem to be lost. Can you tell me where I can find Inspiration?’

‘No, I’m sorry,’ she said, ‘I don’t come from round here!’

So I carried on walking not knowing where I was headed until I saw an elderly man and I thought he’s bound to know where I can find Inspiration. So I said,

‘Excuse me, sir, but can you tell me where I can find Inspiration?’

He looked at me in an uncomprehending fashion as he tilted his head towards me before he said, looking at his watch,

‘Half past nine.’ Then he smiled and carried on walking.

I was beginning to think that my search for Inspiration was going to take a lot longer than I had first thought but if I wanted to find it then I had no choice but to carry on with my quest. Although now it was beginning to feel more like I was searching for the Holy Grail! That’s it! I inwardly exclaimed, find a Church. A Priest will surely be able to point me in the right direction.

I could see a Church spire in the distance so made towards it. Half an hour later I was at the doors of the Church and I went inside crossed myself with Holy Water, genuflected in front of the Altar and took a pew as there were a few people already there. Every so often one of them would get up and disappear into a little booth until eventually I was the only one left sitting there. Next thing the Priest comes out and sees me.

‘Oh, I’m sorry I thought I had seen the back of all you sinners. You best come on in,’ he said, as he beckoned me into the little booth.

I went inside not knowing what to expect. It was dark in there and the Priest was nowhere to be seen but then his voice came from behind a small mesh square and he said, almost in a whisper,

‘How long since your last Confession?’

I thought about this for a while and then remembered that I had confessed that I was lost to the first person I saw, as I turned the corner earlier, so I answered,

‘It must have been about an hour ago.’

The Priest tut tutted a bit then said,

‘Are you so troubled, my child, that you need to seek Absolution so frequently?’

‘No, you’ve got it wrong,’ I said. ‘I’m seeking Inspiration.’

‘Ah yes, many search though few will find. But for you things will be different.’

‘Will they?’

‘Yes,’ he said ‘To you, I can say with confidence “Seek and ye shall find!”’

‘That’s great,’ I said, getting up with the intention of exiting the booth.

‘Not so fast, my child, you will need to say ten Hail Mary’s, two Our Fathers and put five quid in the Collection Plate and we’ll say no more about it.’

That seemed a bit steep but I had no time to haggle so I paid up and did my penance. Then, buoyed up by the Priest’s words off I went once more in search of Inspiration. I walked for what seemed like miles until I saw a street sign that said Inspiration Close.

Ah ha, I thought, I must be near it now. So I turned into the close thinking it would lead to Inspiration but no, it was just another dead end. Disappointed, I turned back onto the main thoroughfare and seeing a man just about to cross the road I shouted,

‘Excuse me.’

He turned round, startled, by the urgency in my voice.

‘Can you tell me where I can find Inspiration?’

In a heavy East European voice he said.

‘I have ze papers. I am very legal. I did not come off back of lorry.’

‘No, of course you didn’t,’ I said, seeing how agitated he was.

‘I’m just looking for Inspiration’

‘I have not seen him, I tell you. He is not Gang Master. I go now.’

With that he hurried across the road but was not quite quick enough to dodge the car that suddenly came screeching towards him. He was left in a heap in the middle of the road and the car careered on without stopping. I went to his aid.

‘Are you all right?’ I enquired. ‘Was that a friend of yours?’

‘Not friend,’ he said. ‘Gang Master!’

‘Oh, what a pity he didn’t stop…he might have known where I could find Inspiration.’

The man had a strange look in his voice as he said,

‘I need hospitaal.’

‘Yes,’ I said ‘Well I hope you have more luck in finding one than I have had in my search for Inspiration.’

Then I left him in the middle of the road…resting! Although it did occur to me that it was not really the ideal place to take a rest, particularly as it was coming up to rush hour.

Never mind, each to his own, I thought. Laying in the middle of the road after being knocked down by a speeding car was probably some kind of Eastern European custom so I carried on walking, all the while looking up to catch the street names.

Then a woman came towards me carrying four big bags of shopping. I stopped her. She did not seem pleased.

‘Madam, please can you tell me where I can find Inspiration?’ I said.

She put her shopping down but she did not seem at all grateful that I was giving her the opportunity to take a little rest.

‘I have absolutely no idea where you will find Inspiration but I can direct you towards Inspiration Point if that is of any use.’

‘Oh yes, that sounds like it must be very close to Inspiration.’

‘Right then, follow this road to the traffic lights then take the first turning left and you will come to a very steep hill just keep going up the hill until you eventually reach a track which will lead you on to the grassy slopes of the headland known as Inspiration Point.’

‘Thank you,’ I said, ‘You have been most helpful.’

‘And you have been a bloody nuisance because now I’ve missed my bus.’

‘Oh dear,' I said 'but I feel sure another one will come along soon. Probably two if I know anything about anything, which I don’t…, know anything about anything, that is.’

Then it occurred to me that I need look no further for had I not found the very thing that I had been searching for. I have just written over a thousand words so it looks to me like I must have found Inspiration. All the time I had spent searching, little realizing I was so close and then to have written over a thousand words, well, for someone like me that is a massive achievement. In fact it is almost, but not quite… unbelievable!

End