"Checkout" Scene Four

“Checkout” The Twins Make Plans

Scene four Supermarket Teashop Wednesday

Maureen and Doreen are already seated drinking tea. There is a jute ‘Bag for Life’ on the table.

Enter Leanne, looking angry and Mel, looking apologetic.

Maureen:
Hiya girls. Over here. She takes the bag off the table and puts it down by her feet.

Doreen:
Yeah, we’ve got a lot to tell you.

Leanne: (Looking pointedly at Mel)
We would have been here earlier but we missed our usual bus because Mel was late getting to my house.

Mel:
I’ve said I’m sorry. What more can I say? Or, perhaps you think I should shoot myself?

Leanne:
Well, that might go some way toward it so, yes, perhaps, you should.

Mel:
Oh, if this is how it’s going to be I think I’ll go home?

Leanne: (Realizing she’s gone too far)
Oh, sit down, you silly mare. I’m joking!

Maureen:
Thought you two were going to have a punch up then.

Doreen:
Yeah, so did I. I was looking forward to it.

Leanne:
No we don’t resolve our issues with physical violence, do we, Mel?

Doreen:
Ooh, how disappointing. We love a good scrap, don’t we, Mor?

Maureen:
Yeah, but not with each other.

Doreen:
No, not with each other.

Maureen:
I’d flatten anyone who laid a finger on our Doreen.

Doreen:
Aah, would you, Mor?

Maureen:
Course I would, you daft ‘apporth!

Doreen:
Anyway, let’s tell ‘em what we did last night.

Maureen:
Yeah, though we might have to duck down if No Nonsense Nina goes past.

Leanne:
We’ll keep our eyes open, won’t we, Mel?

Mel:
If you say so.

Leanne shoots a look at Mel. Mel refuses to catch her eye.

Maureen:
Well if Mel stops being huffy with Leanne, we’ll tell you what we did last night.

Leanne: (Now irritated)
Oh, leave her. If she wants to get sniffy…

Mel:
Well, you have gone on a bit about me being late.

Leanne:
Yeah and with good reason you know I didn’t want to miss the girls.

Mel:
And we all know why!

Maureen:
What you on about, Mel?

Doreen:
Oh, forget it. We’ll have to go back soon. I want to tell them about last night.

Maureen:
Okay. But I’ll tell.

Leanne:
Tell us what?

Maureen:
We plastered the walls in the kitchen and it looks really professional.

Mel:
Really?

Doreen:
Yes, really. Sarah Beeny couldn’t have done it better.

Maureen:
Well, there are one or two bumps…maybe three or four…possibly…

Doreen:
More lumps than bumps, Mor.

Maureen:
Yeah, true but I think the bumps give the kitchen character. At least, the big ones do and the little ones give the walls a nice stippled effect.

Leanne flashes a glance at Mel who gives a grin

Leanne:
What will you do?

Maureen:
Well as Project Managers as well as builders we can’t allow something like this to put us behind schedule.

Doreen:
No, we can’t wait to have the party and see everyone’s faces when they see what we’ve done.

Leanne:
Yes, I can’t wait for that.

Doreen:
Aah, that’s really sweet, Leanne.

Mel:
So, what will you do now?

Maureen:
Keep to schedule. The oak is being delivered on Friday so we’ll start to make the units over the weekend.

Leanne:
But what about the lumps and bumps?

Maureen:
Oh, I’m not worried about them. They look just like them sleeping policeman you see in the road so if it’s good enough for the council then it’s good enough for me. So, what I say is let sleeping dogs, or in this case, policemen lie! Besides I think when the kitchen is finished they will help to give it a nice rustic feel. Well, that’s what Grayling said.

Mel:
Lookout girls, your supervisor just walked past.

Maureen:
We had better go before she sees us.

Doreen:
We’ll see you tomorrow.

Maureen:
No, we won’t Dor. It’s our day off.

Doreen:
Oh yeah, I forgot. What we gonna do?

Maureen:
I told you. We’re gonna go and see the bloke about the granite worktops. See if we can get a better deal.

Doreen:
I thought you said we already had a good deal.

Maureen:
Yes but we might be able to squeeze a bit more out of him.

Leanne:
So when will we see you again?

Maureen:
Won’t be till Monday now because we’re off tomorrow and Friday and we haven’t got any shifts over the weekend either. That’s why we want to make a start on the units.

Leanne:
Oh, okay. See you Monday. (The twins EXIT) Here, Mel, if the walls are anything to go by can you imagine what their kitchen is going to end up looking like?

Mel:
And if the walls look rubbish what sort of job will they make of building kitchen units?

Leanne:
And you’ve got to feel sorry for this Grayling woman, a Lay Preacher and Grammar School Headmistress having the twins spawned on her as neighbours?

Maureen comes rushing back

Maureen: (picking up the jute bag for life)
Nearly forgot this…

Leanne: (now all friendliness)
Oh, you shouldn’t have worried…we’d have been happy to bring it up to your house.

Maureen:
No. I don’t want anyone to see the house….not until the party.

Mel:
What’s in the bag…sounds like bottles?

Maureen:
Yeah, Vodka! I’m a bit worried though...we’ve invited Grayling round Saturday night. What dya reckon? One each be enough? Preachers, are they big drinkers or will three be sufficient?

End