Plebs on parade

Cherry

By alex_tomlin

Sat, 10 Nov 2012
  • 1635 reads
8 comments
 

You
Cut
Too fast,
Take our jobs
And our benefits.
Sit in your ivory towers
And have us believe we are all in it together.
A message from the Big Society: we may just be plebs but we can smell bullshit.

Certificate 12
Poem
Poetry Pentathlon
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Highhat on
I made a mistake in this one and discovered it too late. You got it right and your message is clear and I sympathise with it. Well done. ;)Pia

Submitted by alex_tomlin on
Thanks Pia. What was the mistake?

Submitted by Highhat on
I used syllables and counted them wrong- I'm such an idiot! But I picked the same IP as you-

Submitted by thanksforthepar... on
Good poem, simple, direct and thought provoking; I enjoyed it.

 

Submitted by alex_tomlin on
Thanks marionwozere, glad you liked it. Pia, I did the same thing but fortunately my girlfriend spotted the error and I shoved an extra syllable in to save the day!

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello again Alex, A very direct poem and I enjoyed reading it but I am at a loss about syllables. I understand iambic pentameters but this poem is not written like that. Can you explain? Didn't stop me enjoying it though. Moya
 

Submitted by alex_tomlin on
Hi Moya, It's arranged in the number of syllables relating to the fibonacci sequence (which I hadn't really heard of before the pentathlon). The fib sequence goes 1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21 and so on, always adding the last two numbers together to get the next one. Apparently it reflects what happens a lot in nature. Anyway, my poem goes in lines of 1 then 1 then 2 then 3 then 5, etc syllables. The last one is 21.

Submitted by Denzella on
Hello Alex, Thanks for that. I'm learning all the time Oh blimey so it does! Adding the last two numbers that is. Moya