Glory

You'd have to see him to understand
I paint him like a villain
but if you saw the way he laughs
deep from the gut
and his beautiful, goddamn eyes shining with such glory
the hands he uses to sweep down my spine like sand in the wind

Maybe you'd understand
why I knew
the moment he walked in
it was not over
it will never be, at least not for me
He will devastate me all over again
and everything I built in the year since

I've learned slowly to walk with my back straight
but then all it takes
is for him to cup his hand against my spine
and I melt like quicksilver
clinging to his neck

It's a mystery to me
how two years have passed
and yet every time he walks in
my breath stops, my heart lurches
and I wonder how this beautiful man has ended here with me

If you could see the way
he looks at me
eyes full of fearful joy
for me
I'd like to think
that thousands of miles
and hundreds of days apart
have not erased his memory of me
curling up in his lap
as he runs his hands down my back

But I can't do him justice
nor explain my violent shiver when he leaves
the sick feeling in my gut
of dread
that he will destroy me
and we both know he will
this love is a violent truth
and he is beautiful