We’re Waiting

hmmmm... love is too telly here. in? shouldn't it be simply trepidation? Much potential here, R

Much better. But that love thingy still takes the spark out the finale. Whether a Dear John or a love letter unread. The title is clever...perfect.

While I like some of the additions to this version, R, somehow you must seem to think the guts or gist of this piece to require reinforcements when, honestly, my friend, I find them unwarranted. Now it's fair enough to be a little tentative about the completeness of a/any piece about these parts as criticisms are either sparing or sparse, to say the least. But no matter either what nor how an author writes, you can be assured of only one thing: every individual who reads it/them will take what they wish from it/each, regardless of authorial intent. Question: Let's just imagine that your best friend, the lovely Esther in this case, tells you over breakfast that she'll ring you at exactly 6pm to organise/finalise plans to patronise your favourite French restaurant followed by a fabulous Art House movie that very same night. Now imagine that 6pm comes and goes. So does 7, 8, 9, 10 and 11 pm, and still no show nor call from Esther. How and what do you feel? How and what does Ester feel? Hold that thought. We're Waiting for a letter to arrive. It may contain slices of heartfelt words or something else: a promise to stop by. We await with trepidation knowing the truth of it all. Consider we're: a contraction or we are. Now 'were': second person singular past, plural past, and past subjunctive of be Now 'where' interrogative adverb... in or to what place or position . Personally I'd of used sign rather than letter in the entry, a comma after 'or something else' and precomposed ellipsis or the fullwidth colon  after 'to stop by'. But then the choice of words and punctuation here aren't mine, but that's what I like about it the very most... your mindset behind it all btw. But then again, I too am simply just here within my skin... muchalike like them we're(s) in the poem. See, told ya the title was perfect.

Hi to Esther too, R, as she sounds very much to be your poetic inspiration. And less seriously, I'd not be going back if I were you. Not after reading your latest piece at least. We're Waiting for a sign to arrive. It may contain slices of heartfelt words, a promise, or something else, letters to stop by. We await with trepidation knowing the truth of it all. Would make a really nice part of a series this.

This is both patronising and ill-informed: "Now 'were': second person singular past, plural past, and past subjunctive of be Now 'where' interrogative adverb... in or to what place or position . Personally I'd of (have) used sign rather than letter in the entry, a comma after 'or something else' and precomposed ellipsis or the fullwidth colon  after 'to stop by'. But then the choice of words and punctuation here aren't mine, but that's what I like about it the very most... your mindset behind it all btw." I teach eleven year olds that "of" is not a verb. Most of them get it, some never do. Richard, you stick to the thing that you do best, writing wonderful poetry. Treat comments from coolibah in light of the contents of this thread too: http://www.abctales.com/story/lavadis/her-eyes-belonged-infinity I think that you will see that she/he is disingenuous. We have a deluded fantasist on board. Oh I forgot to say; fine poem Richard.

You just nailed it Richard. Great to see you in fine fettle. My regards to Esther and all yours.