First Love

Gold cherry

By luigi_pagano

Wed, 05 Feb 2014
  • 7591 reads
24 comments
 

The early mist rising from the sea
brings back forgotten memories of yore
when we were children playing on the shore.

And then you bloomed and I could only see
the sun in you, not noticing any more
the early mist rising from the sea.

Where are you now? Do you remember me?
I still recall the costume that you wore
as we skipped through the tide that bore
the early mist rising from the sea.

© Luigi Pagano

 

Certificate U
Poem
Mutevoli pensieri
Love

Comments

Submitted by jimmyfong on

good words

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Pleased you liked it. Many thanks.

 

Submitted by Bee on

It's great to experiment with different forms, and this works so well. Lovely evocative poem.

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

It is a useful exercise in trying new styles, Bee. It brings fresh ideas and makes a change from one's usual approach that might be in danger of becoming too repetitive. I am glad that this seems to have worked. Thanks for letting me know your appreciation.

Best, Luigi

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

Happy memories of long ago first love.  This is so beautiful and a lasting treasure.

Beautifully done Luigi.

Jenny.  xx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hi Jenny. One's first love is remembered in many ways but it is always a memorable occasion to recall the moment.

Wrote this for a competition quite a while ago. Thanks for your lovely comment.

Luigi xx

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Misty and tantalising words, with a lovely flow and 'music' to it. Rhiannon.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Much obliged to you, Rhiannon, for your lovely feedback, greatly appreciated.

Luigi

 

Submitted by Luke Neima on

A beautiful poem, Luigi. Since hearing you read in York I know make myself read all your pieces aloud - it's that kind of reading that really captures the rhythm and beauty of your craft. Really enjoyed this one - simple yet so tender.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Kind of you Luke to say so. When I came across the Chaucerian rondel I took to it immediately and decided to pit my wits against this form. Thanks for the appreciation and the cherries.

 

Submitted by scratch on

Simple words lyrically expressed.  I too like this a great deal Luigi.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Scratch, you are a brick. Thanks a lot. smiley

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

I agree with Luke, I think knowing your voice sharpens my appreciation and the stylistic range in your poems, Luigi. Beautifully bittersweet, 'the sun in you' is a potent image. 

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

It is most gratifying to hear this from you, Vera. Although I have been known to write tongue-in-cheek humorous poems, occasionally I stray into 'serious' poetry and like to experiment vith various forms. It does, sometimes, pay off.

 

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

This is so very beautiful, Luigi, and I'm only sorry I was so late in finding it....the romantic side of you becomes you, admirablysmiley

Tina xxx

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Bless you, Tina. I too feel guilty when I fail to read and comment on entries which in retrospection are worthy of consideration. It can't be helped, though, given the continuous flow of contributions and the only way some are drawn to our attention is when 'cherries' appear at the top of the piece. I judge the popularity, or lack of it, of my efforts by the number of hits and am tempted to delete the ones that don't achieve a certain level and remain static after a suitable time. But enough of moaning; your kind feedback is always a fillip to my morale.

Luigi xxx

 

Submitted by Yvonne Anderson on

I could taste salt after reading your poem. I do really like the style and form - didn't know about Chaucerian rondel before so thankyou too for introducing it to me. Clever and tender

Best wishes. Yvonne

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

I am chuffed to have received such a favourable response from you, Yvonne, and others. Am glad to have brought to life this long forgotten form. Old Geoffrey would have been delighted, I'm sure.

Luigi smiley

 

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Beautiful, Luigi.  Simplicity and depth.  Moments that draw us to our past.  Great pick of the day.

Parson Thru

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

The roundel lends itself to convey something meaningful in simple words, Kevin. The use of refrains emphasises the message.

Joyful memories never fade and selectively symbolise our past. I was greatly surprised and enormously pleased about the pick. (My fifteen minutes of fame, methinks!)

Luigi

 

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

Where are you now? Do you remember me?

Loved this, Luigi.

 

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Do I remember you? How can I forget after watching your superb performance on video at the York meeting? It was as if you were there in person. Everybody loved it, Rich. 

I'm very pleased that you like this offering of mine and thank you for letting me know.

Luigi :-)

 

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

This is beautiful, your poem is visual and nostalgic. The words melt softly yet sharply into the form       Elsie

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

Hello Elsie, it was nice meeting you at York and listening to your well crafted compositions. Thanks for stopping by and giving me your views on this poem whose response has been beyond my expectation.

Luigi