Nature - Summer Term

Cherry

By Ray Schaufeld

Sun, 15 Jun 2014
  • 3760 reads
12 comments
 
Sundrenched particoloured moggies
Bask patchwork squared
Back of the Uni kitchens.
 
Dreadlocks Jo who never quite left
And Biker Bill
Pitch up between trees.
Hearing finches twitter, they
Boil and roast roots on redsky embers,
Skinnydip the star-twink loch.
 
Burly tattooed old Bill
Slips near invisible
Inside a permaculture lecture.
 
 
 
Certificate U
Poem
Nature

Comments

Submitted by Hydra on

Quite brilliant. Fresh and modern with lively imagery and imaginative use of language.

Not sure about the punctuation in the second verse.

Submitted by scratch on

Scorpio might have a point re' the second stanza.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Scorpio, this is this first time anyone has called a poem of mine brilliant! Thanks. You are both right about the punctuation.. Thanks to the greengrocer too       Elsie

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Allow me to be the second person calling a poem of yours 'brilliant', elsie. Fantastic use of vocabulary...fresh, and vibrantsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

It is brilliant. I love it.

Bee

Submitted by scratch on

Sorry elsie I ought to have complimented this excellent poem too.  I love it.

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Tina, Bee, Scratch, thanks for your praise!           Elsie

Submitted by jeand on

This is great Elsie. The onomotopia is absolutely delicious.

Jean

Jean Day

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Delicious! Jean the comments get better and better.Thanks        Elsie

Submitted by Denzella on

Elsie,

The comments get better because you deserve them.  Enjoyed this.

Moya

 

Submitted by Shannan on

I just keep thinking - GROOVY :-) Thanks Elsie

 

Submitted by Ray Schaufeld on

Cheers, Shannan. lovely comment!      Elsie