Under A London Sky
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By jolono
- 5222 reads
The tube was packed.
I gave up my seat for that old lady.
You smiled. A proud smile.
We changed at Mile End
for the Central Line.
Still packed. We cuddled.
You smelt of you.
We laughed when the man said
“Mind the gap.” He sounded so posh.
At Holborn we raced up the stairs
hearts pumping. Sunlight. Fresh air.
I held your hand as we
crossed the busy road
You held on tight. Kept holding
all the way to Oxford Street.
We window shopped. No money
to spend. But we dreamed.
In Trafalgar square you screamed
as the pigeons tried to land
on your shoulder. I laughed and
threw more seed. You scowled at me.
For the first time. Ever.
I didn’t throw anymore.
We ate sandwiches in the park,
made in your mums kitchen
and drank some fizzy drink.
We walked down The Mall and
saw soldiers on horseback
You felt sorry for the horses.
All that weight. Must be tired.
I stopped. You turned and I kissed you.
We didn’t get the tube home. We walked.
The day that changed my life.
All this.
Under a London Sky.
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Comments
This is so bright and vivid,
This is so bright and vivid, jolono, I could see it all and feel the emotions. Touched my heart, and weirdly, brought back memories, even though I wasn't there. Also loved the title and the way it rolls off the tongue.
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mum's kitchen. sounds like a
mum's kitchen. sounds like a true story, just that way, no pissing on Ronnie Kray?
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The beginnings of a whole
The beginnings of a whole life together seems to be packed into such a small space.
Lovely images.
Lindy
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So tender, these two seem
So tender, these two seem like the centre of their universe - and London.
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Lightness.
Lightness.
Easy to come with you for the trip with its flashes of recollection. Really liked it. Congratulations on the pick too jolono.
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Jack Winter - Go For It.
I'd like to see Jack Winter become your second novel jolono.
The reaction to it on here so far supports that idea and I know that your natural ability to write fantastically well means that this adventure could easily evolve into your next full-blown novel.
Personally I can't wait.
Pete.
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Write it in you own way and
Write it in you own way and in your own time. It's good to set targets but not to become a slave to them. That said I wanted to have mine ready for review this month and I managed it. Whether owt happens only time will tell.
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So personal...
... and so universal.
Wonderful to be able to have a dream for so many be a personal reality.
What a blessed way to have your life changed forever.
Thanks for sharing $
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This is very convincgly
This is very convincingly autobiographical for something that isn't jolono - a beautiful love letter to a person and a city
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Everything's autobiographical
Everything's autobiographical, even the stuff that isn't.
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Hi Joe,
Hi Joe,
this is one of those writings that's timeless. The measure of love between two people in a crowd that only have eyes for eachother.
Great poem and much enjoyed reading.
Jenny.
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A beautiful snapshot of a
A beautiful snapshot of a perfect day Jolono, loved this. R
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