In the Garden Room

Cherry

By Bee

Tue, 28 Jul 2015
  • 6816 reads
22 comments
 

Sitting in the window 

of the garden room

I didnt see the Willow weeping

as I played the haunting tune -



the only one you taught me 

all those years before

the bad times sauntered in

and laughing demons tore



away each shred of sense - 

each honest ounce of pride

and by and by we parted -

time no longer on our side



Our world was ripped asunder - 

tears in every room, and

we parted in deep sadness 

leaving nothing but the tune.

 

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Comments

Submitted by Deliberately Ev... on

Very neat work. Lovely Poem. I liked the line "I didn't see the willow weeping" - simple but effective.

The beat of your heart is the mellifluent rhythm to my soul.

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks AE.

Bee

Submitted by celticman on

simple is effective. And this is cathartic. 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks CM.

Bee

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

A gentle flow and rhyme use, again, Bee.  'laughing demons tore away each shred of sense -  each honest ounce of pride' provokes pondering thought. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Bee on

Glad you found it thought provoking. Thanks Rhiannon.

Bee

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

A poem of such beauty could definitely be set to music.

Is that a picture of you playing the guitar? If so, I think you must be one talanted lady.

So well done Bee and thank you for sharing your words.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Bee on

That's an idea - perhaps I'll have a bash at putting it to music. My daughter had her friend take some photos before I start treatment, and that's one of them. Thanks for your lovely comments Jenny.

x

Bee

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Beautiful Bee...and so is the poemsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Tina.

Bee

Submitted by jeand on

Hi Bee

This is lovely and very nostalgic. I too liked the Willow weeping (my favourite tree).

When I was selling my house, the agent made me describe my conservatory as a garden room because we had changed the plastic roof for a solid one.

I remember an ex-boyfriend using the word asunder in his dear John letter. He said, "I shook her hand and tore my life asunder...." I was devestated but impressed by the words.

Jean

 

Jean Day

Submitted by Bee on

Asunder - it is quite an old fashioned word, I suppose, but I do like it. How lovely to have a garden room! And willows, my favourite, too. Thanks for the story - made me smile. 

Bee

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

I never cease to be surprised at how a melacholy mood can inspire a poem of such beauty as this, Bee. The line with the willow weeping, as others have said, is an exquisite touch. There is no doubting your talent and if your music is on a par with your poetry, you are doubly gifted.
Hope you are keeping well.
Luigi x

 

Submitted by Bee on

Such lovely things to say Luigi. Really pleased you liked the poem. 

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks for the cheering cherries! smiley

Bee

Submitted by Jane Hyphen on

This is really neat in form Bee, clean and tidy, in short it's buff - I hear it as a folk song and there is you strumming your guitar at that lovely window (with clothes on of course). A sad but lovely poem/song. Keep the positive flowing x 

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Jane - that's really nice.

Bee

Submitted by Ed Crane on

So much sadness and so much beauty.

Excellent

Ed xxxx

 

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks Ed. 

xxDxx

Bee

Submitted by Bee on

 

Bee

Submitted by bosch on

you've written a good poem, melodic and with something to say

Submitted by Bee on

Thanks bosch - that means so much.

Bee