Why Does it Always Rain at Funerals? (Poetry Monthly)

Cherry

By Silver Spun Sand

Sun, 20 Sep 2015
  • 5161 reads
12 comments
 
‘but at least you brought a brolly’
‘seen that film going on a million times, has to be’
 ‘well – never expected this in a month of Sundays’
‘on the cards – that drinking habit of his’
‘keep the place, nice, don’t they’
 ‘no thanks, well, just this once, maybe’
‘you’ve worn well over the years’
‘got it in Lillywhites...half-price sale ends Monday’
‘only knew him to pass the time of day’
‘must be ‘her’ over there, poor thing’
‘hadn’t seen him in years, never met her’
‘seemed only right to pay my last respects’
‘would you look who the cat dragged in’
‘fine thanks, and how about yourself’
‘kids these days always on their bloody mobiles’
‘can’t abide carnations...never could’
‘you have to use pectin or it’ll never set’
‘didn’t know he’d been married before’
‘one lump, please, oh, and no milk’
‘could tell you a tale or two about allergies’  
‘weren’t short of a bob or two’
‘some things money can’t buy, though’
‘ran in the family, so they tell me’
‘his suit’s about five sizes too big, the pillock’
‘I’m sorry, but you don’t wear bright pink’
‘fascinators – I think they’re called’
‘no respect – some people’
‘taking it all in her stride, is Barbara’
‘gone completely to pieces, they tell me’ 
‘a bit of alright – his wife’
‘yes – not bad, is she, and she goes like the clappers’
‘only twenty thousand on the clock’
‘didn’t know any of them hymns’
‘know what I mean, nudge, nudge’
‘Monty Python and the dead parrot, wasn’t it’ 
‘don’t like cremations, never did’
‘got the whole house done for ten grand’
‘wood-burning stoves...more trouble than they’re worth’
‘that choirboy’s been sniffing glue, bet you’ 
‘can’t say as I could care less he liked chess’
‘would never have guessed he supported Chelsea’
'and all from the vicar who didn't know him from Adam'
‘quite honestly you can’t make a silk purse from a sow’s ear’
‘why do they bring religion into everything these days’
‘it’s on at ten thirty tonight...BBC One, I think’
‘you’d think they’d have softer seats in these places’
‘not been inside a church for yonks...well, not since our Vera’
 ‘all got to die sometime, I suppose’
‘looking black over Tesco’s again’
‘tell you what, I’ll call us a cab’ 
‘still in the same place I take it’
‘must get together sometime, mate’
‘cab’s here – jump in’
‘the station, sport’
‘don’t worry, I’ll get the fare’
‘could have sworn I’d told you’
‘not long back from Kuala Lumpur’
‘TB’s really rife there’
 ‘not feeling so good’
‘best not’
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Comments

Submitted by VeraClark on

Brilliant, Tina. Inspired and often found, well paced, conveys the ghastly small talk and life going on.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

And likewise, my sincere thanks to you, Vera, and speaking of life, I do so hope that yours is bobbing along nicely, lately, on an even keel.  All any of us can hope forsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Hi, Tina. A story in every line, like the things overheard in a shopping queue too, and we so easily start to put 2 and 2 together to make 7, or just imagine what that person's really talking about, what their life is like.Or sigh at shallowness.  I think that's how some mystery plots start isn't it, by some odd overheard sentence … Rhiannon

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Rhiannon - you got it in onesmiley  I can recall many Miss Marple stories that started just that way.

Tina

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

I have to say that I found this more than interesting Tina.

I'm off to a funeral in a couple of weeks, my partners mum died. It's a big family gathering as she was much loved by so many.

You had the different conversations going on written perfectly and I imagine I'll smile at some of your one liners when I go to this funeral. Hope it doesn't rain though, because she's being buried.

Glad I found this one and many thanks for sharing.

Jenny.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Hello there, Jenny.  

I am so very sorry to hear about your partner's mother. So very sad.

Yes, funerals always do seem to bring out the worst, and the best, sometimes, in folk, and I hope that when the day dawns,  the sun will shine down on you all and, by the sound of it, one very special lady.

Tina

 

Submitted by tibi popovici on

 ‘all got to die sometime, I suppose’, you are so right, but I think somebody's words will endure forever, can't give you names cheeky

Find it amazing, Tina.

T.

 

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

tibi - it's made my day hearing from you, and I hope you are well.  You do sound in fine fettle, though, and I thank you so much for your, as ever, inspiring wordssmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by love_writing on

Those overheard conversations, snippets of small talk wonderfully recrafted. Some made me smile right from the start- at least you brought a brolly. Lovely structure too- a narrative formed through a commentary. Most inventive :)

love_writing

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

lw...you're a star, of the twinkliest kindsmiley

Tina

 

Submitted by Pat G on

Love the use of quotes.  So much to be heard around us when we listen to what people are saying off mic.

Submitted by Silver Spun Sand on

Absolutely, Pat.  Absolutely.