Bombinations

Gold cherry
Poem of the week
Pick of the Month

By Philip Sidney

Tue, 08 Mar 2016
  • 16972 reads
33 comments
 

I saw the queen once

she was in a big green jeep

                                       whizzing around a field

I was with a crowd of kids

we cheered as she went past

                                         but she didn’t look at me

we had her picture on the classroom wall

between the clock and the crucifix

                                           I knew that picture pretty well

I looked at it when I was pretending

to think of an answer

                                           but I was making up a story

like me running off with Robot and Billy

getting lost in space and shaking off the family

                                          she didn’t smile in the picture

and was just a blur when she drove past

she seemed less real than the saints

                                         I kind of knew she didn’t care about me

but I was supposed to belong to her

because I was part of the commonwealth

                                           which was all hers

or something like that

it was ok not to like her

                                            not like God

who you had to love

even though he was watching you all the time

                                             like that weird kid next door

who looked through my bedroom window

and gave me the collywobbles

                                             I was more scared of him

than not doing my homework

that just made me feel sick

                                             I guess I could have done it

but I was daring God to do it for me

he never did

                                             I heard him laughing with my friends

when I got the strap

I just stared at the spit on Sister Ignatius' lip

                                              and listened to the buzzing

thought that if I didn’t die

one day I’d be old and free and only do what I wanted

                                             she’s still there

the queen

I’m still waiting.

 

Certificate U
Poem
Inspiration Point (work that responds to our weekly writing cue)

Comments

Submitted by Sooz006 on

Clever, wry and beautifully written, it's good to read you again PS. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Sooz! smiley

Submitted by VeraClark on

Powerful, PS. An authentic naivety to the child's voice and well conveyed nostalgia a.

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Vera, so glad it worked for you. :)

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

loved this - and I agree with Vera, the voice is spot on

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks insert - that voice buzzes in my head most of the time:)

Submitted by Bee on

What makes this so amazing to me is that from the child's eye perspective, there seems to be more wisdom without even thinking than any of the adults. But the poem is more special for the natural, but cleverly added side details like, 'she didn’t look at me' 'between the clock and the crucifix' 'when I was pretending to think of an answer' 'was more scared of him than not doing my Homework' 'I heard him laughing with my friends when I got the strap' 'I just stared at the spit on Sister Ignatius' lip'. As you can tell, I loved this piece. 

Bee

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

What a lovely comment, thank you so much for taking such time in your reading. :)

Submitted by Starfish Girl on

Reminds me so much of my Catholic primary school education. Sister Vincent was the scary one with her starched winged head dress. 

You got the voice perfectly.

Lindy

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Lindy - those scary nuns left an impression, didnt they? surprise

Submitted by luigi_pagano on

A very strong piece, Helen, with a powerful narration. I liked it a lot. I also learnt a new word:  'bombinations'.
Thanks.

Luigi x

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

So glad you liked it LuigismileyIt's a lovely word:)

Submitted by tcook on

I love this - it has all of the old spite still in there along with the wisdom of age. Great stuff and our Pick of the Day.

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

What a lovely surprise on a grey day! Thank you. smiley

Submitted by Ed Crane on

I also loved the child-like naiivity and wisdom. I think you summed it up for all of us who were coralled out of school to stand in the street waving paper UJs and to watch a big black Roll-Royce cruise past and all we saw was a waving glove between bobbing heads.

I also like the tilt at the cruelty of Nuns in Catholic schools. Being a lucky Cof E I listened in amazement at stories by ex-pupils from Catholic schools in England, Belgium and Spain. Although they didn't know each other they seemed to be united in one thing --- The Nuns were cruel vindictive bitches.

 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thanks Ed.  I got the strap quite a lot as a child - I suppose I was quite awkward and hardly ever did my homework.devil

Submitted by hudsonmoon on

So glad I got to read this, PS. It reminded me a bit of me when the nuns had taken us out of the class to see President Johnson and Robert Kennedy in 1964. Wish I was clever enough to have written it. Really loved the voice here.

Rich 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

What a lovely comment Rich :) The 60s were an era of paying respects to big cheeses.  I suppose in this digital age we can look at images online.  Seeing famous people in the flesh was fairly unique.  I even remember getting the autograph of a random bishop and, I think the poem shows, I was not a particularly holy child. smiley

Submitted by Parson Thru on

Very deftly written, Philip. I narrowly avoided the delights of St Wilfred's and St George's Catholic schools in York (a stand-up row between my dad and Father Treacy, which I still remember. The priest had come to claim his prize for marrying my mam and dad. Nasty.) I had to make do with secular sadists. The restraint in this piece is great, as is the viewpoint of the child looking back, the asides that give it so much truth, and the heavy sigh of the adult narrator that ties the whole thing together. Perfect. A great piece of writing Philip. Loved it.

Parson Thru

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much Parson!  It's funny how those early years never really leave us. smiley

Submitted by Parson Thru on

It is.

Parson Thru

Submitted by catherine poarch on

Really liked the quickness of this, right down to the lash of that buzzing thought. It feels like a kid taking a deep breath and saying it all in one go. The Queen passed me once too when I was a child and apparantly she smiled at us but I was shy and looked the other way. I expect she remembers though. wink 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you Catherine, what a sweet child you were. smiley

Submitted by catherine poarch on

Or not! I was just looking at poems again and it seems I am not getting the emails to say there is a comment. Has anyone else had this? I've not changed my settings. I've not put a poem on for ages so I've probably not ignored anyone but it's a bit wierd. Cheers!

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Week - congratulations!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Thank you so much!  That's a lovely start to the weekend.. laugh

Submitted by blighters rock on

Gobstopping time capsule of reminscent poetry crammed with all the creepiness of childhood woe and worldly wickedness. 

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Great comment blighters, a poem in itself! :)

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This is our Poem of the Month - Congratulations!

 

Submitted by Philip Sidney on

Wow!  Just walked back to my hostel under an aurora sky to find out this! All my birthdays an Christmases at once! smiley

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