Gloaming

Gold cherry

By fatboy74

Thu, 16 Jun 2016
  • 5885 reads
16 comments
 

 

 

There I was, not coming or going,
trying to find a path through, 
on and through and into the old ways
and see how it was before.
And so stood useless, soaked-heavy
seeing the rain falling, 
and fat snails with heads braced like bulls 
before contact, the wind picking a way
around the revenant weeds and grasses,
squat slugs in two minds, brave it out
or make a charge, wait for their luck 
to turn - good or bad. 
 
They call it gloaming, and I'll go with that.
The town has emptied and the doorways dry
and across the valley I can see the lights
of somewhere else - not better than here,
just another place visible now the sky is bled
and spent - listen hard and the rush and low 
murmurs are a song, I can hear it now,
sounds long ago and far away,
but it's one I know,
and is a song all the same.
 
Certificate U
Poem
A Doughnut Sends A Postcard Home
Unclassified

Comments

Submitted by Rhiannonw on

Nice to see you back. Your verse has a dreamy quality somehow, of persevering when the way has been hard, but there is comfort and some stability, and enjoyment in the surroundings even in the dark and rainy days.

I do like the 'fat snails with heads braced like bulls''. and the wind picking its way. Rhiannon

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Lovely feedback thank you Rhiannon. 

 

Submitted by celticman on

not better, just different from here. the analogy with snails and bulls and slugs and us mugs make you think. 

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks c-man, I'll say a prayer to a heathen god for Messi to be in green and white hoops come September. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

A quiet reflective piece (acceptance of the way things are?) - would love to hear this being read. How nice to see you posting again! 

 

Submitted by seashore on

This has a lovely melancholic feel to it.  The title, and the first line takes you straight there and keeps you there until the end, when you want to go back and read it again, which of course I did.  

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks insert and seashore, lovely words. It just escaped three years after the last one. 

 

Submitted by Insertponceyfre... on

This dreamy poem is our Facebook and Twitter Pick of the Day!

Get a fantastic reading recommendation everyday

 

Submitted by Kilb50 on

Enjoyed this fb - good to see you posting on Abc again!

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Many thanks for that Insert and thanks as well Kilb. Picture looks great on facebook as well.

 

Submitted by VeraClark on

This made me long for things in my past, such a stunningly conveyed snatch of lost things just out of reach and an injection of the now always moving us on and out of ourselves. Hypnotic. Lovely to read you again, fb.

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks Vera, it has been a long time, such a great comment. I learnt a new word today, which is hiraeth (Welsh) and which describes what you mention, a longing for home you cannot return to, or a grief for the lost places of your past. I think this poem is about that and about writing again after a long time. And also about what's in front of your nose that shouldn't be taken for granted. 

 

Submitted by celticman on

'not better than here,' sometimes that's enough, to know that. 

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

You're right, took me too long to get it though.

 

Submitted by skinner_jennifer on

It's so long since I've read any of your work F B. You have always been one of my favourite poets, because you always manage to come up with something so original. Like this poem which takes the reader to a place of acceptance.

Jenny. 

 

Submitted by fatboy74 on

Thanks Jenny for the lovely words. I haven't been around very much, but it's lovely to see some regular faces and read their work again,