Bombinations

I saw the queen once

she was in a big green jeep

                                       whizzing around a field

I was with a crowd of kids

we cheered as she went past

                                         but she didn’t look at me

we had her picture on the classroom wall

between the clock and the crucifix

                                           I knew that picture pretty well

I looked at it when I was pretending

to think of an answer

                                           but I was making up a story

like me running off with Robot and Billy

getting lost in space and shaking off the family

                                          she didn’t smile in the picture

and was just a blur when she drove past

she seemed less real than the saints

                                         I kind of knew she didn’t care about me

but I was supposed to belong to her

because I was part of the commonwealth

                                           which was all hers

or something like that

it was ok not to like her

                                            not like God

who you had to love

even though he was watching you all the time

                                             like that weird kid next door

who looked through my bedroom window

and gave me the collywobbles

                                             I was more scared of him

than not doing my homework

that just made me feel sick

                                             I guess I could have done it

but I was daring God to do it for me

he never did

                                             I heard him laughing with my friends

when I got the strap

I just stared at the spit on Sister Ignatius' lip

                                              and listened to the buzzing

thought that if I didn’t die

one day I’d be old and free and only do what I wanted

                                             she’s still there

the queen

I’m still waiting.